Hello I am new to dorje shugden and his practice (about 6 months) and also this is hard for me because I have been diagnosed with a psychiatric disorder and have already been to a psych ward because of how powerful this was... So it might sound sorta psychotic... But it is what it is it's spiritual to me... recently I was chanting his mantras and started feeling a lot of my past come back... Like into my childhood... So I figured I had practiced it in past lives seeing as how it reminded me of my childhood... I believe that children are closer to their past lives (just because of time
)... So basically I started seeing or feeling (clairvoyantly if you will) the Dalai Lama wondering if I was some sort of tulku... He kept wondering who I was because my practice was powerful... So that went on for a couple of weeks just both wondering (I mean it made me wonder too) I actually thought at one point I could have been an emanation of manjusri! So basically he started to realize I was practicing dorje shugden (in these visions) and he started to dislike me... And went to the oracle at nechung and asked him to kill me and my family with black magic... It scared me to death and I read the bible to protect myself!!! Which worked... And I prayed that this whole thing be forgiven... So strongly I think he had a vision of Jesus in front of him (I was Christian once)... So I felt better but from then on he continued to take it into his own hands to stop me from practicing it (magically) , not to kill me this time just keep me from practicing it... And from then on all sorts of gurus vowed to protect me... Particularly padmasambhava, naropa, milarepa, ra lotsawa, lama Tsongkhapa, drakpa gyeltsen, even the Buddha and his disciples... They were keeping his harm from me... And immediately thereafter I had visions of those protests and I decided not to look it up out of fear I may be delusional...I also didn't want to jinx my visions
... I waited three weeks and looked on YouTube and there ya go there are protests... Shortly thereafter I landed myself in a psych ward for other reasons (unrelated) so there ya go what do you think??? Lol A lot to take in but like I said it is what it is!!
Thank you
Namaste
