How to control my emotions when I am temperamental?

[RedLantern]

It is easy to understand rules,but not easy to know the heart of the matter.Try to be humble,and be magnanimous,then you will not be an eyesore to others,and you will be able to embrace everything under the sun.If you can do so, there is nothing you should worry about or be angry about.
It is usually easily said than done....right?

[cookie]

The Lojong practice of Mind Transformation is the best practice to do daily in order for us to be able to control our emotions. We should learn to focus less on ourselves and close the gap between us and others so that we can achieve a simple and humble mindset . " During all actions, as soon as thoughts or delusions arise in my mind that are harmful to us and others, may I stop them with effective means " !

[bambi]

Yes, in the beginning it may be easier said than done as one will need to focus and contemplate the actions. Nevertheless, when we practice and put our mind to it, it can be done! No matter how long or difficult.

Cookie is right, the Lojong practice does help a lot. Maybe we can contemplate on the four thought for a beginning.

The preliminaries; The four reminders or alternatively called the Four Thoughts
1. Maintain an awareness of the preciousness of human life.
2. Be aware of the reality that life ends; death comes for everyone; Impermanence.
3. Recall that whatever you do, whether virtuous or not, has a result; Karma.
4. Contemplate that as long as you are too focused on self-importance and too caught up in thinking about how you are good or bad, you will experience suffering. Obsessing about getting what you want and avoiding what you don't want does not result in happiness; Ego.

[OMB]

Lojong practice of the mind transformation is definitely very essential in our daily life.  It trains our mind to embrace reality in a completely wholesome, wise and compassion way. It helps us to be a better person and to have a positive attitude toward others.

[psylotripitaka]

Lets not forget that Lojong also teaches us to gain control by means wisdom realizing emptiness. We are temperamental because we conceive ourself to exist in a way we don't, we feel we are really important, and so we expect everything to go perfectly according to our unexamined checklist of contaminated discriminations. If we cut the root, the entire tree will fall. The method path softens the edges of our samsara so we have some space and power to cut the root.

Remember emptiness

[pgdharma]

Yes it is easier said than done. We must realize that samsaric emotion is impermanent, and sooner or later it will pass; thus we need to develop equanimity with respect to any good or bad situations. It is through training our mind  that we can keep a peaceful and happy mind at all times, even in difficult circumstances. If we can do that it shows that we have been successful in our training. If we train our mind in this way, everything we encounter will increase our Dharma realizations.

[Tenzin K]

Human emotions are HIGHLY controllable .. if you understand how they operate and learn how to reprogram them.

You can do this either through cognitive behavioral psychology or through the practices of Buddhism. CB psychology deals with ONE problem at a time .. Buddhism deals with all problems simultaneously. But both use the same basic principles .. they retrain your unconscious, and reframe your reality.

You don't control emotions by practicing to control them.
You control them by stepping slightly to one side, no longer resisting them, and letting them roll right by you.

Think of emotions as a freight train barreling down the track. If you stand ON the track, you will be run over. Even if you try to control that train by holding our you arms to stop it ... you will be run over.
Instead ... just take one step to the side, OFF the track, and watch that train roll right on by while you stand there, unhurt. This is NOT detachment. You do not build a wall around your feelings .. what you are doing, actually, is fully opening up to them. Allowing yourself to feel the craving and the pain and everything else you don't want. And when you feel these, you call up great compassion for this hurting creature, this You. Just as you call up great compassion for everyone else who hurts (and we all do).
Oddly enough, by opening up to our deepest fears ... they cease to push us.
Jealousy, anger and vengefulness are all attempts to NOT feel our pain, attempts to resist our pain. Things always hurt (both psychologically and physically) when you tense up and resist .. and when you are convinced that you should not be hurting.

There is only one way to learn THIS kind of observation, acceptance, and non-resistance .. and that is through the practices of Buddhism, starting with meditation.
Now, the Mahayana schools of Buddhism rely highly on the guidance of a teacher, in order to be effective.

[brian]

Lojong practice is definitely helpful so does Lama Tsongkhapa's practice. If we are able to focus less on ourselves and more towards others then we will be able to eradicate our anger more and more. Always pull back from the moment when we feel angry. It does help me from further using my anger as an excuse to inflict my emotion on others. It is imperative that we can control ourselves at that very moment. I also feel that if we are patient enough, then we will not be so tide up with our emotion. One example i feel will be driving through traffic jams...

[metta girl]

I' ve learned about patience, tolerance, loving-kindness , compassion and impermanence etc in Buddhism and it helped me to be a better person.
          "Some people feel patience is weakness or pessimism.
           But, actually, patience shows the strenght and clarity of mind, which are based on wisdom and
           compassion.
           Without proper wisdom and compassion, one cannot practice patience

[Kim Hyun Jae]

When negative emotions arise, we need to learn to recognize them arising and be mindful at the same time. Then try to let these emotions run through our minds, as if there were fleeting only and not hold onto them. We need to feel them and then let it go, but not latch on.

As emotions are fleeting and lasts only a moment or so, then if we do not dwell on them for long, the emotions will go away. At the same time, observe the pain these emotions brought on to your mind and your response to it. It is not impossible to learn to control but we need to exercise patience and mindfulness and diligence as if we are training.

[Klein]

Yes, in the beginning it may be easier said than done as one will need to focus and contemplate the actions. Nevertheless, when we practice and put our mind to it, it can be done! No matter how long or difficult.

Cookie is right, the Lojong practice does help a lot. Maybe we can contemplate on the four thought for a beginning.

The preliminaries; The four reminders or alternatively called the Four Thoughts
1. Maintain an awareness of the preciousness of human life.
2. Be aware of the reality that life ends; death comes for everyone; Impermanence.
3. Recall that whatever you do, whether virtuous or not, has a result; Karma.
4. Contemplate that as long as you are too focused on self-importance and too caught up in thinking about how you are good or bad, you will experience suffering. Obsessing about getting what you want and avoiding what you don't want does not result in happiness; Ego.

This above is very true. It is very effective if we contemplate on these teachings. When we realise the deeper meaning of these teachings, we will naturally not be so temperamental. In addition, meditation is a great way to control our emotions.

My guru also tell us that when we can't control ourselves from being temperamental, it shows how our mind is out of control. One of the most effective way to practise controlling our mind is through daily meditation. Over time, we will be able to have better control of not only our emotions, but what we say and do.