Some people feel that although it may be right to curb feelings of intense hatred which can cause us to be violent and even to kill, we are in danger of losing our independence when we restrain our emotions and discipline the mind. Actually, the opposite is true. Like their counterparts of love and compassion, anger and the afflictive emotions can never be used up. They have, rather, a propensity to increase, like a river flooding in summer when the snow melts, so that far from being free, our minds are enslaved and rendered helpless by them. When we indulge our negative thoughts and feelings, inevitably we become accustomed to them. As a result, gradually we become more prone to them and more controlled by them. And we become habituated to exploding in the face of displeasing circumstances.
Inner peace, which is the principal characteristic of happiness, and anger cannot coexist without undermining one another. Indeed, negative thoughts and emotions undermine the very causes of peace and happiness. In fact, when we think properly, it is totally illogical to seek happiness if we do nothing to restrain angry, spiteful, and malicious thoughts and emotions. Consider that when we become angry, we often use harsh words. Harsh words can destroy friendship. Since happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others, if we destroy friendships, we undermine one of the very conditions of happiness itself.