Home funerals

[bambi]

In Tibetan Buddhists' belief, we should touch only the crown, forehead and face of the deceased and avoid touching other parts of the body immediately after the person passed away because it may distress the mind/ consciousness. The person would take rebirth in lower realms if the consciousness goes out from lower parts of the body.

So, when we do the washing and dressing of the deceased by ourselves, we will be very careful and are assured not to distress the deceased.

Yes DS Star. I have heard someone telling me the same thing. That we should avoid shaking the deceased or show emotions when a person has died so that they may leave in peace for the next rebirth. It doesnt matter where one wants to place their deceased family so long as they do it out of respect and know what they are doing.

It is believed that if the consciousness leaves the body of the dead person through the crown or from a higher part of the body, it is likely to result in a good type of rebirth. Conversely, if the consciousness leaves from a lower part of the body this is likely to result in rebirth in one of the lower realms. For this reason, when a person dies it is believed that the first part of the body that should be touched is the crown. The crown is located about eight finger widths (of the person being measured) back from the (original) hairline. To rub or tap this area or gently pull the crown hair after a person dies is regarded as very beneficial and may well help the person to obtain a higher rebirth. Their are special blessed pills (po-wa pills) that can be placed on the crown after death which also facilitates this process.

Once the consciousness has left the body (which, as mentioned earlier, can take up to three days) it doesn't matter how the body is disposed of or handled (including the carrying out of a post-mortem examination) because in effect it has just become an empty shell. However, if the body is disposed of before the consciousness has left, this will obviously be very disturbing for the person who is going through the final stages of psychological dissolution.

This raises the question of whether or not it is advisable to donate one's organs after dying. The usual answer given by the Tibetan lamas to this question is that if the wish to donate one's organs is done with the motivation of compassion, then any disturbance to the death process that this causes is far outweighed by the positive karma that one is creating by this act of giving. It is another way in which one can die with a positive and compassionate mind.

A Tibetan tradition which is becoming more popular in the West is to get part of the remains of the deceased (e.g. ashes, hair, nails) blessed and then put into statues, tsa-tsas (Buddha images made of clay or plaster) or stupas (reliquary monuments representing the Buddha's body, speech and mind). These stupas for instance could be kept in the person's home, larger ones could be erected in a memorial garden. Making offerings to these or circumambulating them and so on is regarded as highly meritorious, both for the person who has died and for the loved ones.

There are also rituals for caring for the dead, for guiding the dead person through the intermediate state into a good rebirth. Such a ritual is "The Tibetan Book of the Dead", more correctly titled "Liberation Through Hearing in the Bardo".

[lotus1]

Thank you Jessie Fong for sharing the beautiful story on home funeral of Caroline Kirk.

I would think whether it is a home funeral handled by professional or own family member, it is important that the deceased is treated with respect, dignity and peace. There should not be a lot of crying or being emotional as it would cause the deceased to be attached to the samsara and do not want to move on for his/her rebirth.

For Buddhist, prayers such as Dorje Shugden Prayers, Medicine Buddha prayer, Lama Chopa, or reciting Amitabha mantra or Om Mani Padme Hung would be good. Dharma protector prayers such as DS prayer and mantra is important as protector would help to bring the deceased to a good rebirth so that the deceased will be closed to Dharma and able to practise Dharma for next lives. 

On the other hand, it would be good to do their research beforehand and check out what are the necessary administrative processes to be carried out such as obtaining the death certificate for the deceased and filing for a disposition permit. Some countries may also have support groups or religious organisation that provide guidance on home funeral and how to handle the deceased body.