Woman sleeps next to dead husband for 1 year

[Freyr Aesiragnorak]

This is truly a saddening story. The poor woman just couldn't let go. This might sicken some people, but let's not forget that we too have been this woman. In one of our previous untold lives we were a woman who couldn't let go of her husband, and in another life we could have been the husband himself.

Rather than being disgusted or saddened, we should meditate on this story and analyze the feelings this woman had from her point of view, the sheer attachment and then relive her experience of seeing the body of her husband decay. This way we not only see how much attachment people have but also impermanence. My Guru has taught mediation on the deaths of others to cut attachment to that person. It is only by meditating on something like this do we actually have an experiential understanding of 2 important things: the level of attachment we can suffer from and the impermanence of death and change. Surely this is suffering, Suffering of attachment and suffering of change.

Just to comment on Diablo1974, you are right to say we should love others. But I disagree slightly, you mention parents and family, I agree with that, but we need to cultivate equanimity between our loved ones, enemies and strangers. Only then can we truly develop the Bodhicitta motivation. There is a difference between love and attachment for sure, but most of actually love another person, not because of that person but what that person does for us. If you meditate on your relationships with other people, the greater love you have for them is directly related on how much you think they do for you. All of what i've said is all well and good, but to actually practice this is another matter altogether.

The woman and her husband will surely be in my prayers tonight. May we all knowing their story, develop insight into the working of our own minds and further our spiritual insights and attainments to be able to help both of them in our future lives together.

[Manisha Kudo]

Have you ever kept a toy or a memorabilia that was so meaningful to you that you just wouldn't throw it away? You probably had it for years, perhaps since the day you were born. It was your heirloom! Imagine that your life partner is gone and you performed all the rites and ceremonies to ensure that his afterlife was well taken care of.

But... 

In your mind, heart and soul you continued replaying memories of your love with him and your fingers are constantly polishing the wedding ring as if it was just presented to you yesterday. You seemed normal, so normal that you prepared meals for two, cleaned his clothes and shoes and wished him good night before going to sleep.

Even though this hypothetical person is not lying next to a corpse, she is behaving in a way that she is sleeping next to his ghost.

We don't need a to keep the body of our deceased loved ones in bed to show signs of attachments. However, never forget, we do need time to grief and to cry and to heal. During this period of change, having a strong Dharma practice helps us to cope and assist the deceased to move on.

[RedLantern]

I just feel true sympathy for the poor woman,sometimes we do not realize just how much of a loss it is for someone to lose the person they have shared more than half their lives with.Truly sad.....may she have a peace of mind.
In Buddhism, a Buddhist cultivate detachment,to view the world as less enticing and less permanent.to be detached from pains as much as pleasure.Because things are impermanent;so it shows one to deal with this fact.Nothing is permanent,knowing that someone we love will die ,changes your love for them somewhat.
Knowing we will pass from this world,and never be seen again,inevitably changes your love for it;your attachment to it is correspondingly diminished by this knowledge.This forms one basis for non - attachment.

[buddhalovely]

I think this is simply attachment to someone that has been living with her for very long time. Refuse to accept the fact that the husband already died but to convince herself that everything is alright. It reminds me about a story that my guru told me. There's a house where lives a loving couple. the husband passed away in an accident and didn't come back home on that day. The wife was extremely sad and then she refused to remember that her lovely husband has no longer around because it was too pain for her to remember. Hence she sit at the door and waiting for the husband to come home until one day she herself passed away but her spirit could not leave that house and she still there kept waiting for the husband to be back. It showed me the power of attachment is so scary and the only way to get away from attachment is to practice Dharma..         

[metta girl]

Being too attached to someone and something is not good... Imagine sleeping with a corpse and it's rotting every single day .It's so unhygenic and inconsiderate and not having a hold or control over one's own mind is bad too... Should stay clear minded and do the proper arrangement  then grieve later. .Nothing is permanent even our grieves.. it will soon end.
      " The reason many people are miserable, sick ,and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy 
         attachment to things they have no control over."

[Kim Hyun Jae]

When we talk about letting go and to be detach, it is harder to practice it when we are faced with the real truth. Sometimes we do not accept or cannot accept reality when it happens to us personally. It is easy to talk about letting go but it not easy to let go. However, on the other hand, once we recognize what letting go is and re-learn to letting them go day by day will probably be better rather than a shocking reality of sickness, death etc.

[cookie]

The wife is clearly sick; mentally sick and obviously caused by gross attachment, insecurity and fear to move on with her life without her husband. My heart goes out to her. I am sure she is not even aware of the actual conditions she or the corpse is in. I hope and pray that there are people out there compassionate enough to give her a helping hand to move on with her life.

[DS Star]

Call love, attachment or in-denial, she must be mentally unsound to be able to sleep with the rotten body of her husband infested with insects & maggots.

Well-said metta girl. The root cause of this problem is the attachment to conditioned things/objects... that subject to change and impermanence.

      " The reason many people are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy 
         attachment to things they have no control over."

Rather than being disgusted or saddened, we should meditate on this story and analyze the feelings this woman had from her point of view, the sheer attachment and then relive her experience of seeing the body of her husband decay. This way we not only see how much attachment people have but also impermanence. My Guru has taught mediation on the deaths of others to cut attachment to that person. It is only by meditating on something like this do we actually have an experiential understanding of 2 important things: the level of attachment we can suffer from and the impermanence of death and change. Surely this is suffering, Suffering of attachment and suffering of change.

Yes, it very important to do death meditation everyday. This will help us to cut our attachment, to a particular person, persons as well as to our own body.

[OMB]

I felt really sad for this old lady, her sufferings from strong attachment toward her late husband. If she's in dharma, she will understand that life is impermanence & it would be easier for her to let go.