No one or nothing can actually make us angry! Seems like a strong statement but if you dwell deeper it actually is true. We 'feel' angry not because of what someone does or when something happens, we 'feel' angry because we assume or use our own interpretations to twist that situation into an attempt to feed our bruised ego.
For example... If we get "angry" because someone said something bad about us, is it really that person's fault? Perhaps the person was right (hence our bruised ego)? And if that person is wrong, it is still our ego wanting to be right and making that person feel small for stating a false accusation. Either way, anger does not help.
It's true that no matter how we justify our anger, it doesn't help. Anger can never be the right thing because it causes so much damage. It ruins friendships, destroys marriages and families and generally causes disharmony among people. The results of anger is always disastrous.
No matter how unjustified we feel a situation is to us, it is for the benefit of ourselves and others to control our anger because once our anger is unleased, we may say or do thing that we regret forever and the damage we cause may be irreparable.
If we recall the times we have been angry, we will remember that our mind is completely turbulent and there is no peace in our heart. In a way, being angry is just like being in hell on earth. Why do we even put ourselves through this?
From the Buddhist point of view, anger is completely dangerous. One moment of anger can destroy vast amount of merits and create much negative karma that can cause immense future sufferings. It will take our spiritual progress many steps backwards.
Therefore, instead of viewing others as our enemy, it's would be better if we view our anger as our enemy and work to take control of it.
I liked what you wrote here, WT. Thank you for reminding us all that ANGER BURNS up vast amount of merits and create HUGE negative karma.
It has also occurred to me that although most of the time, we view angry minds as something furious and ferocious. Those are the more aggressive types of angry minds. There is also another kind of angry mind that is less aggressive. What I mean here is that it is more emotional and it gets our feelings wounded. We also become consumed with negative emotions because we perceived that we have been hurt. However we may lash out not by rage, but perhaps by tears.
Either way, we have been upset and we can't get past that strong emotion.
It's interesting to note how much we are tied to the 8 worldly concerns in our every day speech, action and thoughts. Many things we do are done not by a pure motivation or out of real care for someone else. We might expect something in return or we want to be recognised. Hence, when we do not receive all that we expect or even gets accused for something we did not do or harbour, we will get upset. And we will express this in a fiery manner or cry buckets.
A dear friend reminded me today that if we really operate without any attachments to the 8 worldly concerns, the outcome will not affect us and upset us. We will not be affected whether we get critisized, awarded or ignored. Then this is done free of the 8 worldly Dharmas.
I sincerely hope I can really get there.
