Puppets

[Ensapa]

When I think in further, before I met the Dharma I was just a puppet who had to follow the expectations of others and I could not follow my own goals and dreams. Everything was already defined for me by my family. They always threatened that they would not support me if I went against their wishes so I just complied but it eventually ate into me. I felt like i was a puppet and i had no control over what i want in my life. As a result of following their conventions, I lost a lot of friends and opportunities and my social skills were retarded. It felt horrible and I was intensely unhappy with my life.

Then, I met my Guru and followed his instructions. It is a struggle as I had a very strong rebellious streak in me as I really hated conventions and boundaries. I hated them. I hate having to follow social norms and people because by following them i hurt myself and I cannot be myself. It was very oppressive and it was a constant pain that I was unable to get rid of. Meeting my Guru helped tame those emotions and feelings that were so strong, the feelings of self loathing for not doing anything else in life during then, and also to get rid of all the paranoia that I have developed over time as a result of being very bitter of being 'mistreated' by others. It was difficult to keep them in as I always suspected everyone of me trying to bring me down. I felt like I was a wild animal and the teacher was trying to tame me so that i wouldnt harm others and it was an immense struggle to cut the puppet strings that bound me and who had controlled me...they were none other than my inability to focus outwards. I thought of sharing my story here because i honestly felt like a puppet before I met my Guru as I never felt that I was in control of myself.

If my Guru had not, I would have been controlled by my delusions and I would never be happy. We are all puppets and slaves to our desires and hatred. We operate solely on what we like and dislike. That is how I see people around me operate, they want to be happy all the time and they would do anything for a quick fix, even if it means hurting others and in their pursuit of happiness just makes them suffer more, which propels them to seek happiness in the wrong way. It is a very sickening and mad loop that I am desperately trying to get out of. Meeting the Dharma without the Lama did not help at all...but meeting my Lama did...and even then it was hard to follow his instructions...but after meeting Dorje Shugden, it was so much easier to apply the instructions...so yeah...my puppet strings are cut.

[dsiluvu]

But are we really living our lives fully?

We see people who are ill fighting so hard to be alive, yet.. what was so significant about these people's lives when they had it. What is so significant about my life now that I have it. What would it take for me to give up on others, to crumble and lose hope due to mental and emotional pain?

Giving up on others is the day we have given up on life itself. May that day never come.

Holding on to disappointments, hurts and any ill feelings and thoughts is similar to an unescapable, lifeless puppet on strings.

May our Protector blesses us to use this precious life, focusing on developing virtues for ultimate happiness.

OR GIVING UP ON OTHERS IS THE DAY WE GIVE UP ON OUR SELF.

It is TRUE that so many of us, myself included are easy to fall prey to the Self-Grasping Poor meeeee sad attitude when there is so much more to life then just ME. We often fail to see this when we encounter a difficulty in our life and we tend to forget that well there are others with much worst off situations then us. I guess you can call this PERSPECTIVE.

The Good News is this PERSPECTIVE can change and it can be where we switch to focusing within to focusing out. And I've often asked this question... WHAT exactly is this FOCUSING OUT? Is it Helping OTHERS? Really? Not really.. because if we say HELPING OTHERS is FOCUSING OUT then I see a flaw because there are many who Help "Others" in the name of Praise, Pride, Reputation, Fame and Reward... yes the 8 worldly concern. Not many can honestly say it is without these concerns... and if we do say it... we're probably lying cos if it is the truth, someone else would say it for you.

So I guess to me the real Focusing OUT would be yes Caring and Helping Others without the Care of WHAT WILL I GET OUT OF THIS sitting at the back of our tricky egos....

So do we STOP trying... NEVER... because if we do... then there is no point in us being ALIVE in the first place. Thanks for this interesting contemplative post! 

[Ensapa]

Giving up on ourselves or on others would mean that we have lost the meaning of life itself. I personally do not see how giving up on ourselves or on others would help in any way because giving up takes just as much effort to do as to just hold on and pull it through and achieve success with what we need to accomplish or do. It's more of a change of view, really. If you can see that giving up and continuing has no difference from one and the other, then we would not have given up because if we do not give up, they we can benefit others.

[diablo1974]

Be hopeful, we are not exactly puppets or 100% puppets. Before learning dharma, or before you encounter dharma, we may be puppet of karma because we are only afraid of the effects instead of fearing the causes. But after encountering dharma and have the opportunity to meet a qualified guru and to learn from him, we should turn karma into puppets instead of us being control by karma. Dharma gives us the choice to decide what is next, we can control our causes and experience the desired results.