Dying

[Klein]

When a person is dying what can we do? When a person is dead, what can we do? Do we chant Dorje Shugden's mantra or are there other mantras that are more suitable?

[Galen]

This is what I remember from an explanation in a Dharma Centre.

When a person is dying, we should chant DS mantra to the person or if the person is not in an unconscious state, we should ask the person to recite in their heart the DS mantra or to visualise DS. This is so that we can invoke DS and be able to help the person to get a good rebirth.

It has been said that when we invoke DS, a monk will lead the person to the next rebirth in the bardo.

When someone is dead, the mind stream is still in the body and will slowly leave the body. We would want the mind to leave from the top of the head where the crown is. In order to do that, we can help by stimulating the crown of the head by either pulling some hair or lightly scratch it. We would not want to touch or stimulate any other part of the body because we do not want the mind to leave from anywhere else except the crown. If the mind leaves below the waist, then it would mean rebirth in the 3 lower realms.

If we have protector rice, then we should put a grain into the mouth of the deceased. Blessed water is also possible.

We can also put a dharma text on the top of the head of the deceased like Vajra Yogini text or the Lamrim so that the deceased will have dharma in their next rebirth.

The other people can chant DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or the easiest is On Mani Padme Hung. The family members should recite Om Mani Padme Hung for 1000 times each day for at least 7 days and dedicate to the deceased.

I hope someone can correct me my information is not correct in  any way. Thanks.

[Reena Searl]

Thank you Galen for the clear explanation, the post help me understand more in dying.

[Ngawang Drakpa]

When someone is dead, the mind stream is still in the body and will slowly leave the body. We would want the mind to leave from the top of the head where the crown is. In order to do that, we can help by stimulating the crown of the head by either pulling some hair or lightly scratch it. We would not want to touch or stimulate any other part of the body because we do not want the mind to leave from anywhere else except the crown. If the mind leaves below the waist, then it would mean rebirth in the 3 lower realms.

If we have protector rice, then we should put a grain into the mouth of the deceased. Blessed water is also possible.

We can also put a dharma text on the top of the head of the deceased like Vajra Yogini text or the Lamrim so that the deceased will have dharma in their next rebirth.

The other people can chant DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or the easiest is On Mani Padme Hung. The family members should recite Om Mani Padme Hung for 1000 times each day for at least 7 days and dedicate to the deceased.

Yes, that is correct. Besides, if you don't have protector rice, you also can put the "Mani Pills" into the mouth of the deceased. You also can use "Mani Pills" mixed with the water and clean for deceased's body (to bless the body). While you rub the body, you can chant the Medicine Buddha mantra and blow to to deceased's body.

While pulling some hair or lightly scratch it, we should say something good to the deceased or remind them that the body no longer belongs to them anymore as they passed away. According to what my senior told me, some people died in sudden, they might don't even know they already dead and they still stay in the body and attach to the body. Too added, during the funeral, relatives of the deceased are not advised to cry around the deceased this will disturb the deceased's mind to go for the next rebirth.

Yes, this 3 mantras are normally what ppl chant - DS mantra or Medicine Buddha mantra or Om Mani Padme Hung. It also depends which mantra the relatives of the deceased more familiar with. Last time i was advised to chant 10malas each day for 49days. During this 49days, i also make candle offering as well to dedicate the deceased take a good rebirth very soon in where there have a Dharma.

If some informations is not correct please correct me also. Thank you

[biggyboy]

Explanations by Galen and Ngawang Drakpa were exactly what I was advised to do the last time when a very close relative passed away.  Also to chant either any of the 3 mantras whichever, one is familiar or comfortable with for 49 days along with light offerings and dedicate to deceased's quick rebirth to be with dharma in his or her next rebirth. 

[Tammy]

Thank you all for the input and detailed explanation! It is so true that we live in preparation of dying.

As long as we are still trapped in the samsaric cycle, we have to go thru rebirths after rebirths and learning 'how to die' is just as important as learning 'how to live'

Let's put every minute of our live to benefit others and make sure we know hhat to do when facing death.

[WisdomBeing]

In addition to not crying around the deceased, we can also talk to the deceased. I was told that the deceased should be told that they should leave peacefully and that everything was fine. Ideally, the person speaking should be one of the loved ones of the deceased or whoever has the closest connection to him or her. This is because the deceased is more likely to listen to their loved one. When we tell the deceased that everything is fine, please go in peace and be with Buddha or God or whoever the person prays too, then the soul or mind of the deceased will feel at peace. As Ngawang Drakpa said, if people around the deceased cry, the deceased will be disturbed and not feel at peace, worrying about the living. We could inadvertently create the karma for our loved one to reincarnate as a spirit too!

[pgdharma]

The explanations by Galen and Ngawang Drakpa are correct and clear. I also agree with Wisdom Being that we should talk to the deceased and ideally someone closed to the deceased and whom the deceased will listen to. Especially to ensure the deceased  that everything will be alright so that he/she will be at peace and let go and not cling on to the body, family or possession so that the next rebirth will be good.

I have witness a few deaths in my family who are all Buddhist and these are the usual procedures we follow. Also during the wake, the immediate family will recite prayers and mantras for the deceased.

[kurava]

Yes, it is very important to let the dying person leave this life in as peaceful an environment as possible. Even when the person is pronounced as clinically dead i.e. no heart beat, we should still treat the dead person as 'alive' and with care.

When my mother died in the presence of a Hospice doctor, the doctor had kindly helped to wipe my mother's body and changed her clothes. Before the doctor did each action , she would whisper respectfully to my mom that : " Mdm XX, I'm going to wipe your face" or " bend your arm" etc.
As a person of science, this doctor was so aware and concerned about the feeling and sensitivity of the dead that she must had , through her own experience , been convinced that life /life force extends beyond the physical signals of life.

Seeing how the doctor performed the last 'ritual' for my mom was a spiritual awakening experience for me. I sincerely thank this kind doctor for helping my mother and myself.

[dsiluvu]

Prayers and chanting the mantra the person who is or has passed away, is familiar with is the best I think. I've recently experienced the death of my beloved who is extremely close to DS... and that is what I chanted the moment I saw him went and daily. The prayers can be done for the next 49days, (the bardo stage) and it is good to also take on a vegetarian vow in dedication to the deceased so he/she may take a good rebirth in a good body. These are perhaps the last few things one could do for the deceased.

However, I find the biggest challenge would be for the living, for those close to the deceased. It is the biggest lesson of impermanence when u personally experience someone you love go...

A death situation is also a huge precious lesson for the living. It's a lesson of how fragile this human life is and to never take it for granted and to never be too attached to it. It is a test of courage also to continue ones life and to not go in to depression but to have strength to move on. This is the the biggest testing time for us to check internally our Dharma practice, for us to actually practice what we've learnt literally. 

[vajrastorm]

I am glad my Guru taught me much about Dying and Preparing for Death. Because of this, I was able to help a close friend's sister through her dying and her death.

Six months ago, my close friend (a Chinese lady)turned to me for spiritual advice regarding her 58 year old sister,in Australia, who had been diagnosed with fourth stage lung cancer. As both sisters had grown up seeing their mother pray daily to a statue of Guan Yin, I taught them both the mantra Om Mani Padme Hum. I gave the sister a statue of a standing Guan Yin, dressed in white, with a very sweet and serene smile on her face. My friend immediately went to be with her sister for a while, carrying the statue to her. So both sisters began to chant this mantra daily. On my part, I had also begun to pray to Dorje Shugden for her.

Her cancer spread very swiftly and by December, it had reached her brain, her bones and organs. Yet though her body must have been racked with pain, she remained calm and at peace throughout. A miracle? A week before she passed away, I skyped her and blew DS mantras on her.

When she started to drift in and out of consciousness, her sister and other sibblings who were many miles away from her, said their farewell to her by reciting Om Mani Padme Hum and they saw her on skype with her lips moving along with them ,reciting Om Mani... 

Another miracle(must have been Dorje Shugden's interevention)? As she lay dying on a hospital bed, a Tibetan Buddhist nun appeared by her side to pray for her. A Rinpoche gave her Chenrezig blessings and conducted funeral rites for her afterwards!

So this lovely lady died in peace as she had been able to accept the fact that she was dying and to let go from the start.

[KhedrubGyatso]

I remembered an advice by a monk that rather than going the usual way of crying or wallowing in sadness before a loved one who is dying  , it is kinder to softly tell  the dying person that ,' We are all fine and will take care of ourselves. It is ok to die '.
A big concern of a dying person is about the future well being of his/her family members after they are gone.If we express sadness , and other negative behaviour , it is sending the message to the dying person that we still need him/her. This will make it difficult for the dying person to leave peacefully. We should think about the dying person's concerns and reassure them rather than to express our own loss due to our attachment to them.
It is still a tricky advice to follow as it is not yet a society or cultural norm but more are finding this approach sensible and beneficial under such emotionally charged  and sensitive moments.

[hope rainbow]

I remembered an advice by a monk that rather than going the usual way of crying or wallowing in sadness before a loved one who is dying  , it is kinder to softly tell  the dying person that ,' We are all fine and will take care of ourselves. It is ok to die '.
A big concern of a dying person is about the future well being of his/her family members after they are gone.If we express sadness , and other negative behaviour , it is sending the message to the dying person that we still need him/her. This will make it difficult for the dying person to leave peacefully. We should think about the dying person's concerns and reassure them rather than to express our own loss due to our attachment to them.
It is still a tricky advice to follow as it is not yet a society or cultural norm but more are finding this approach sensible and beneficial under such emotionally charged  and sensitive moments.

What we see in movies is more like we are screaming at a loved one dying "Don't go", "You can't leave me now", "You must hang on, don't die on me!", "What will i do without you"...
Then as the person died, we cream out loud looking up to the sky, and cry and cry desperatly, helplessly...

This denotes complete ignorance of the dying process, of how karma works and can only be arising of the wrong view that existence equates our body.

With spiritual knowledge, we are better armed to face the deaths around and our own death too.
And we can act in helpful ways.

[Amitabha]

Thank you Galen for the clear explanation, the post help me understand more in dying.

it is not according to buddha dharma to visualise DS. just chant the mantra will do.

[ratanasutra]

Thank you for the clear explaination form Galen.

i never came across dying process of human before so have no experience about it. Apart from Galen post also in the last minute of the dying person, we should also tell them to think about the virtuous actions they have done when they alive and rejoice about it..

After the death, the family also can offer up a buddha statue to the monk or temple and dedicate a merit to the person who past away.