What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you

[sonamdhargey]

I agree and disagree. I agree if the experiences are not overwhelming and over traumatizing then the experiences will make us stronger, whenever we are faced with similar experiences in the future we are most likely able to face it with ease. However if a person experience a horrifying situation most likely they become weaker because the very experience itself can petrify and caused tremendous fear in them that will have lingering effects in their mind stream.

I've met a person who suffers from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) she is still afraid of the night and her doors has multiple locks due to fear. She was robbed at home and other unwanted incident happened to her which has scarred her for life. It all happened at night. When night falls she will go into a very disturbing anxiety episode, fear and occasionally collapse and get stuck in that experience over and over again in her mind. Whenever she sleeps she will have bad dreams on and on and it has been happening for many years ever since the bad experience.

That experience didn't kill her but made her weaker.

I understand what you mean, and I must agree that many people have psychological problems after a traumatic experience. However, that is in general context. When it comes to Dharma, and particularly Dharma practitioners... challenges, bad experiences etc should not affect one too much to the point of being dysfunctional. Infact, it should make one grow as we would contemplate and make sure nothing of such should happen again, and if it does we will face it with more wisdom.

I always believe how much a person suffers from a difficult situation determines how much Dharma they have ingrained and practice within themselves. Why? because the more a person suffers, the larger their sense of self is present within... and we all know Dharma teaches us to think outward, not inward. Therefore, difficult situation + Dharma wisdom and practice will strengthen a person.

Thanks Q for your perspective. From a dharma perspective, I agree if people with Dharma ingrained in them and they practice Dharma well will be much better of than people who has none when one faces with unfortunate circumstances. Dharma practitioners will look at their unfortunate circumstances as their negative karma ripened  and not dwell in it for long periods and can get of that suffering much faster and the results being stronger through applying the Dharma when faced with a bad situation.

[Dolce Vita]

I quite like this phrase. "What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you". This statement is deemed true when we accept, contemplate what goes wrong, learn from the experience then move on. Spirituality is about mind transformation, eliminating bad habituation and develop and enforce the good ones.

When we encounter any difficulties in our lives, I always think it is because we do not know how to handle the situation, that is why it becomes a difficulty, a problem. It is just like when we are in the school, sitting in an exams, some of us is able to answer all the questions with the right answer and some of us do not even manage to answer half of it. However, the question that we are not able to answer, once we study more, put our effort to resolve it, eventually we will be able to answer. What I am trying to say here is, if we put in our effort to overcome our difficulties, to move on, we become stronger and better. But if we keep thinking of our failures and feel pity but not trying to learn from the lesson and move on, we can become weaker.

[KhedrubGyatso]

When we have an accident or in a disastrous situation and had survived the ordeal , it is not wrong to say that it is exhaustion of one’s bad karma. However, it does not do much good either or improve things for us if we just treat every such occurrence as only purification.Are we expected to live life going through endless suffering or accepting that this is how our life has to be lived ?
We need to recognize the value  and rarity of being born as a human against all odds. This present human body we have will never be repeated again. We also need to realize what we can do with this perfect human body which is that we can fulfil all our and others’ wishes to be free from all suffering and to have lasting happiness. It is important for us to reflect everytime we have a survival situation that we should put more effort to practice dharma because death can come anytime and is uncertain. Everyday we postpone practicing is everyday we can leave this world with nothing to help us in future lives.
We need to feel the urgency to obtain results from our practice, to gain realizations of refuge, renunciation etc , to engage daily in right actions to do confessions, collect merit to protect us from further accidents and negative karma ripening. This I think is the meaningful and Buddhist interpretation of above statement. We strengthen our resolve to engage in practice to gain liberation and enightenment.
 

[Jessie Fong]

I definitely agree that what doesn't kill you, will strengthen you as you should have learned from that painful situation - to see what went wrong so that you will be in a better position to handle it in the future if a similar situation arises.  After all, we need to learn from experience - to weed out the negative and improve on the positive.

If it were a horrifying experience like Sonam Dhargey's friend, then it will take a long time to get out of the situation; same may not.  Family and friends need to help out in the recovery.  Moral support will be a great help.

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We have to learn to pick up the pieces and move on.

[yontenjamyang]

Well potentially from a karmic point of view, since we have lived countless lifetimes and have generated countless good and bad karma, it is not the karma that counts but rather the condition that triggers it. That is why we say "cause and condition".  From the Lamrim, we read that karma ripens, the strongest ones first, the most familiar second and then if everything is equal, the oldest.
Since, the phrase "What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you" denotes this lifetimes; I agree with the phrase for some cases but disagree some others. "Kill" here should not be taken as only actually dying but refers to some negative results. If we understand karma and about purifications then we can take it as a bad situation ripens and we apply Dharma, we let go, we learn, we cultivate patience and other perfections, be honest and have integrity and we improves. Improvement here can be taken as "strengthening". In this way the phrase is correct.
When referring to sports training this is also, very true and in fact that is how muscle grows. Coordinating improves with training as well.
However, when taking disease as an example, the it is not always true. If we talk about immunization then perhaps this is true. If cancer, most certainly not. Many counter examples.
What I wish to emphasize here is that the phrase should not be taken literally and as an excuse unless we are highly attained. What counts is creating the the merits first and foremost and the conditions for good karma to  ripen.

[Gypsy]

I do agree with what Klein has expressed his views on the phrase. I do have the similar problem with Klein which is finding hard to deal with negative emotions. My senior Dharma friend advices me to divert my focus to something more beneficial to others when the negative emotions arise.

Very often people around me was annoyed by my unstable emotions and hurtful speech that comes along with it, it draws people away. It comes to a point that i was so indulged in it where i do not realize my instability is actually hurting people around me. After a few slaps by this senior Dharma friend, i finally realize that I should battle this negativity and not let this knock me down, because if i continue this way, it will bring me nowhere and it's really killing me.

I find practicing 8 verses of mind training is really an effective way to eliminate my negative emotions and unstable mind. This is indeed useful.

[dondrup]

From the view point of karma, its not that which doesn’t kill you, strengthens you… but rather, exhausting all which has the potential to kill us is what will strengthen and free us from all harm.
 

I agree.

“What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you.” is similar to the following common sayings:

    When the going gets tough the tough gets going!
   
    Once bitten twice shy!

If someone had benefitted from negative situations and grew out of them, then it is a blessing in disguise to experience those negative situations.  However for those who didn’t benefit from or able to cope with those negative situations, the result could be detrimental!

What strengthens us is to realize that there is hope for salvation from all the problems in life!  True salvation comes from practising the Dharma purely and sincerely.  Hence, when we understand adversity is a way to purify our negative karma, we can and would be willing to accept the adversity. Adversity doesn’t kill us; it strengthens our capability to deal with the next adversity!

[Tenzin K]

I do have this thought before I join dharma and mainly for samsaric reasoning which just make me in delusion more.

But when looking back to this saying again in dharmic point of view, it’s a turn over the negative view to push ourself to make it as success in our spiritual journey. In our dharma practice we often faces challenges but for the motivation of benefiting others. It even challenges our comfort zone to move forward but once we are able to turn this over it becoming a strong substance to make us move ahead.
Great saying that make me contemplate more.   

[diamond girl]

After we read all this and contemplate then what?

Do you know how many people survive the "crap" in life and it's sufferings and then they just sit back and say "This is life and there is nothing I can do. Just my bad karma." Then what? They are not killed, but are they stronger?

Also, I agree that when we surrender to all life's sufferings i.e. samsara, we are free from the attachment and thus can be liberated for a beneficial spiritual journey... But how many truly can do this?

Sorry to sound "rude" but it is frustrating to see how many people in this world who just sit back and blame bad karma. I so do not get this...

[bambi]

I agree strongly that I am the type that will be stronger if it doesn't kill me. I believe so because I have been through many difficult patches in my life and I got through. Why would people want to commit suicide because of little things that they cannot overcome? Without Dharma, yes, I have thought of doing so but then I realised that wouldn't solve anything. With Dharma, the more I can look forward to in life. People are dying everyday because of accidents, old age, sickness, etc but those people who committed suicide thought its easier to just die. Pure selfishness and ignorance. What about the people who care so much about them? Think of the people who want to live but they cant. “What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you' is something we should remind ourselves daily and look forward to everything that is happening around us and be thankful because we can learn and benefit many others.

[ratanasutra]

What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you is the positive way of thinking which encourage us to achieve things in the higher level as we have experience about it before.

Well.. as most of time when we made a mistake or we failed in something, we always give excuses that it was new thing, we never have experience about it before ect.. Now we can do more and achieve more as we have experience, we learn from that so by logic we should produce a good result, isn't it.

 

 

[pgdharma]

If we have this mindset of "what doesn't kill you, will strengthen you", it is a positive thinking as it will make us want to get out of our comfort zone, to push  and challenge ourselves further and the end results will make us a stronger person. Failures are those who blame on everything except themselves on why they failed. As the saying goes "Winners are not people who never fail, but people who NEVER quit."

[Dondrup Shugden]

The depth of "What doesn't kill you, will strengthen you" needs a lot of contemplation.

To me it would mean that after going through a very difficult time, event or circumstances and you can come out of it will create the stamina, wisdom and perseverance to never quit and continue towards our goal.

As in the example of practising the virtues of Dharma, it is not easy at all.  To accomplish any results is basically to do what you normally will not do or what you will not like to do.

As mentioned often in this post, this practice will definitely push you out of your comfort zone and you will experience the limitless of your ability, whether you win or not.  Winning and losing is a perception.