Social activity vs Dharma activity

[Q]

We all want peace and for people to not suffer... that is the very reason why we love the Dharma as it eliminates people's sufferings. But I believe Social activity/welfare does reduces people's sufferings as well.

We also believe in the laws of Karma, where everything we experience is the result of the past actions we did has ripened upon us... but just because it is the person's karma, it doesn't mean we can ignore the person's suffering.

So my question is this... given a situation when we see a person suffering from something, and you can only do one of these actions, which would you choose?
1) Sponsor a puja for him/her or do some prayers for the person to clear any negativities, or
2) Give support that will help him/her for that time being.

[diamond girl]

Personally, I do not think it is a necessary choice. If our motivation is to help, we do whatever it takes and it need not limit to what we can do.

So, dear Q, in answer to your question, I would do both and more. While helping this person with prayers and support, I will share the dharma with him/her in a way which is best suited to them at this time of their problems/suffering.

I have been in situations like this, and I impart the dharma teachings of acceptance, compassion and forgiveness. This will help the person gain understanding that life is impermanent even the suffering they are going through. From this, which will take time, they will gain the inner strength for future situations.

I hope that my answer is helpful to you....

[negra orquida]

I think we can do both options simultaneously... for example if the person just got hit by a car, then the first thing I would do is get the person immediate medical attention.. and make a phone call to arrange for a puja and chant a prayer / mantra myself in the meanwhile... assuming i'm cool headed enough!

Whereas if the person is suffering from mental or other problems which are beyond our physical ability and expertise to help, then the 1st option is one sure way we can help the person.

[bambi]

I agree with DG. I would choose both the options that you have given. Whether that person have Dharma or not, it doesnt matter but we show our support to help them so that they do not get more depressed. Our motivation is to make sure that they can be back on their feet first. Then if we have the means to sponsor a puja, then we should. If one is not able sponsor, we can do so ourselves and dedicate to that person as well. After that, we should continue to show our support and care. Then we can nurture and introduce them to Dharma to further make them understand.

[sonamdhargey]

Well if we are left with only 2 choices, I don't think it's enough to help someone. Puja works to a certain degree and it really depends how the suffering occurred. It can be physical or mental suffering or pyschic attacks which requires different approaches. Ultimately like what DG said the motivation to help is upmost importance and to help a person we need to understand which way is the best way to help that particular person and it is very subjective and yes social activities and welfare do help as well.

[ratanasutra]

its good if we can do both things and even do more for people who suffering with something. And actually it is possible to do both things as in our daily prayer we can dedicate the merit to help clear their obstacles and if we know the person well then we also can go to meet and give support to the person as well.

I will not say that which one i will choose as it depend on the situation of it, as it that the person i don't know well i won't be able to give much support that they need and do the prayer or sponsor puja will best choice for that.

[Tenzin K]

In answering your question if just one action I can do for whatever reason as per your statement, I’ll choose  no. 1.

But to add on just like the rest of them, we can do both and even more.
Personally, spiritual is permanent and much beneficial. By just doing puja might not be enough because that particular person need to understand where is the suffering come from and how he can do something for him/herself to do to the karma created.   

But of course this is very much depend on the situation and what we can help in term of spiritual point of view.

[AnneQ]

I would do both and more. Besides sponsoring a puja for the person, wouldn't it be wonderful to have that person do pujas himself/herself? So in order to have that happen, time must be spent with that person be it in a social setting or spiritual setting. In any case, speak to that person from your heart and in time to come you can influence him/her to the spiritual path. The ultimate purpose is to help that person and what better way than to have him/her help themselves spiritually.

[rossoneri]

To answer your question i would pick answer no. 2.

But we could do more.

Yes, support them socially and spend some time with them individually to show them we are sincere and care. With the right motivation hopefully, we'll be able to gain their trust. By now we can slowly inject some Dharma topics in the conversation.

In my opinion it is much beneficial for them to be involve and practice Dharma directly. It's good to plant a seed into them and it'll lasts forever. We can pray for them but it won't be as effective as they do it themselves.

Ultimately we all know nothing is permanent except for Dharma and no one can help us in this beside ourself.

[DSFriend]

We all want peace and for people to not suffer... that is the very reason why we love the Dharma as it eliminates people's sufferings. But I believe Social activity/welfare does reduces people's sufferings as well.

Because we live in a society, the most basic support we can give each other is a listening ear over a cuppa tea. That's all most people can offer...which is short term help. We are humans and this type of support is important to express our care and concern for each other.

Puja is a very powerful method to help clear obstacles as well as many other benefits long term. Not everyone is aware of this method to help themselves and their loved ones. Some people may know about it but may not have enough faith due to lack of knowledge. And there are some who have cultivated enough faith to make pujas their first choice as a method for their problems.

So, for us who knows of the benefits of Pujas can offer this solution to our friends as well. Other than that, if you have the time, a cuppa tea to show care and offer a listening ear will do no harm. But this ALONE will not be of much help in the long term.

[biggyboy]

I would do both and not limit oneself to one option only.  We do not need to stop thinking that's the only one way can help. Let's put ourselves in their shoes, how would you feel and wish for someone to help you?  If we have the dharma knowledge, we should spare the time and knowledge with the person whom we see is suffering.  Most importantly, be there for him or her even over a cup of coffee or drink (which in this case is social)...to express our care and support for them, emotionally and physically by infusing spiritual knowledge at their level of understanding and situations.  Over a period of time, to share with them and offer advice on engaging prayers for they may not fully understand how and what prayers can help them.

[pgdharma]

Personally, I would choose both or even more because helping others come in many ways due to the different problems, situations of each individual. The approach and method to help may differ. It also depends on how close our relationship is with that person, to what capacity we are financially able to help that person, how much time we are willing to lend an ear to that person etc 

It is good if we can impart some dharma knowledge to that person but if the person is of different religion that we have to impart in a skilful way. So whatever choice we make to help that person, it must be dealt with a correct motivation and the end result is to benefit that person.

[kurava]

I think doing option (1) does not exclude option (2) or vice versa.

For people who have no connection with dharma, they have only option (2) available to them. However, sometimes the situation is such that option(2) alone is not sufficient and we would like to do more for our friend. My Guru says that puja is a means for us to divert and focus our compassionate energy to the people in need.

Unfortunate happenings are the ripening results of our past negative actions. According to Buddhists, doing pujas is a very effective way to purify past actions before the full ripening of the effects. Yes, I will take both options and do more for this person.

[KhedrubGyatso]

Both options - outer ( worldly ) and inner ( spiritual ) are needed. However , for those who are not religious or having spiritual practice,  only the second  option to help  is open to him/her. From the side of the receiver, the same applies. For majority of people, in most situations where temporary help is needed, giving option one  help will be appropriate. However, when the person faces death like when having terminal illness ,facing  very serious problems or supernatural /spirit disturbances , when nothing else works, then they turn to those  who can activate Option 2 to help them.
While option one  is relatively easy to provide and to accept , for Option 2 , one will need to put more effort to nurture the person concerned to understand and develop faith in  the uncommon spiritual methods especially if he/she is not religious but is open to receiving this special help .

[vajrastorm]

When I see a person suffering from something, I personally will not react by weighing the two options to see which is better. I will find time to first listen to them and carefully weigh and consider all the things I can do to help that person., with a view of connecting them to Dharma and planting Dharma seeds in a discreet way, if they are not spiritual. Being there to listen and to give emotional support is very important. But we must also remember that Dharma is the ultimate medicine that heals all suffering by healing the root of suffering - the three poisons.   

If that person is not spiritual, I'll pray for them and dedicate pujas, that I perform,to them.I will also see if there is time(if they are not dying) and nurture them in Dharma.

If that person is spiritual and understands the Dharma, then it is easier. We can effect the two options simultaneously.

My best friend turned to me when her sister was dying of cancer. THey were/are not spiritual. I put my whole love and care into what I did for her. In the end, the lady passed away, but despite her great pain throughout, she was able to let go and to die in calm and peace. She was thousands of miles away. But I got to talk to her on skype once earlier on and the second time a short while before she passed away. I chanted and blew mantras of DS on her. She recited OM Mani Padme Hum all the way. She had my Kuan Yin statue with her until the last weeks when she was hospitalized.  Two weeks before she passed away, her son recorded, on video, a conversation they had together. She talked about impermanence of life,how life was fleeting ..There was so  much acceptance and peace in her already.