This is thought provoking. I think similar examples would be good guide for us to contemplate, for example in the Eight Verses of Thought Transformation by Langri Tangpa:
6. When someone I have benefited and in whom I have great hopes gives me terrible harm, I shall practice regarding him or her as my holy guru.
Usually we expect a person whom we have helped a great deal to be very grateful, and if he reacts to us with ingratitude we are likely to get angry. In such situations we should not get angry but, instead, practice patience. Moreover, we should see this person as a teacher testing our patience and therefore treat him with respect. This verse contains all the Bodhicaryavatara teachings on patience.
From the Dhammapada:
“When we hold fast to such thoughts as ‘They harmed me, they mistreated me, they molested me, they robbed me,’
We keep hatred alive.
If we thoroughly release ourselves from such thoughts as ‘They harmed me, they mistreated me, they molested me, they robbed me,’ hatred is vanquished.
Never by hatred is hatred conquered, but by readiness to love.
This is eternal law.”
I think the point of all these is not that we take the blame at let others “win”, of course it must be done with wisdom. Dalai Lama also said before that being compassionate doesn’t mean you let people just take advantage of you. If letting the others win will be worse for that person, then perhaps we should speak our mind and it will help the other person to realize and accept his/her mistake. This of course is skillful means which we have to practise and develop.
So in the situation that we accept the blame for others, it doesn’t mean that you’re saying what the other person did is okay. It may not be okay, but you forgive because you want to be happy, and you realize that holding onto anger and grudges makes you and the people around you miserable. It doesn’t mean you forget, but you can forgive.