Author Topic: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?  (Read 11662 times)

Vajraprotector

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Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« on: July 06, 2012, 05:31:11 AM »
I came across a statement by a fellow Buddhist lately. Do you agree with the statement?

If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara.

The Buddhist approach is to reflect on the experience of suffering, because this is what all human beings share in common. Suffering doesn't necessarily mean a great tragedy or a terrible misfortune. It just means the type of discontentment, unhappiness, and disappointment that all human beings experience at various times in their lives.

In Buddhism, suffering is called a noble truth. Also, to understand suffering means that we must accept suffering rather than just try to get rid of it and deny it, or blame somebody else for it. Suffering is common to men and women, common to rich and poor. Whatever our race or nationality, it is the common bond.

To live means to suffer, because the human nature is not perfect and neither is the world we live in. During our lifetime, we inevitably have to endure physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury, tiredness, old age, and eventually death; and we have to endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, and depression. Although there are different degrees of suffering and there are also positive experiences in life that we perceive as the opposite of suffering, such as ease, comfort and happiness, life in its totality is imperfect and incomplete, because our world is subject to impermanence.

So does it mean as a Buddhist I should contemplate on death and suffering daily and not be happy to enjoy ease/ comfort even if I can?

Positive Change

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2012, 08:34:38 AM »
The Sources of Happiness According to Buddhism

I find this post interesting as the common misconception people have about Buddhism is precisely this toss up between happiness and unhappiness. Often equating the former as something that is not Buddhist. I would tend to disagree. I do not think being happy is "un-Buddhist". It is the attachment to being in a state of happy or not happy that is not Buddhist. There is a fine line. I came across this most interesting article which I think explains what happiness truly is!

The Sources of Happiness According to Buddhism
Alexander Berzin
Berne, Switzerland, March 2010

Ordinary Happiness: The Suffering of Change
Some people have characterized Buddhism as a negative religion that identifies all that we experience as suffering and does not acknowledge happiness at all. This, however, is a misinformed view. It is true that Buddhism speaks of our usual, ordinary happiness as the suffering of change. This means that this type of happiness is unsatisfying: it never lasts and we never have enough of it. It is not true happiness. If, for example, eating ice cream were true happiness, then the more we ate of it at one sitting, the happier we would become. But soon we reach a point at which the happiness at eating ice cream changes into unhappiness and suffering. The same is the case with sitting out in the sun or moving into the shade. This is what is meant by the suffering of change.

Buddhism, however, provides many methods for overcoming the limitations of our ordinary happiness, this suffering of change, so that we reach the everlasting joyous state of a Buddha. Nevertheless, despite the drawbacks of our ordinary happiness, Buddhism also explains the sources for achieving that kind of happiness. Buddhism provides this teaching because one of its basic axioms is that everyone wants to be happy and no one wants to be unhappy. And, since everyone is looking for happiness and, as ordinary beings, we do not know of any type of happiness other than the ordinary, usual kind, Buddhism tells us how to achieve it. Only when that wish and need for happiness has been fulfilled on the most basic level of ordinary happiness can we go on to aim for deeper, more satisfying levels of it with more advanced spiritual practices.

Unfortunately, however, as the great Indian Buddhist master Shantideva wrote in Engaging in Bodhisattva Behavior:

Although having the mind that wishes to shun suffering,
They rush headlong into suffering itself.
Although wishing for happiness, yet out of naivety,
They destroy their own happiness as if it were a foe.

In other words, although we wish for happiness, we are naive about its sources and so, instead of creating more happiness for ourselves, we create only more unhappiness and sorrow.

Happiness Is a Feeling
Although there are many types of happiness, here let us focus our attention on ordinary happiness. To understand its sources, we first need to be clear about what is meant by “happiness.” What is this happiness (bde-ba, Skt. sukha) that we all want? According to the Buddhist analysis, happiness is a mental factor – in other words, it is a type of mental activity with which we are aware of an object in a certain way. It is one section of a broader mental factor called “feeling”, which covers a spectrum that spans a wide range from totally happy to totally unhappy.

What is the definition of “feeling?” Feeling is the mental factor having the nature of experiencing. It is the mental activity of experiencing an object or situation in a way that actually makes it an experience of that object or situation. Without a feeling somewhere on the spectrum between happiness and unhappiness, we do not actually experience an object or a situation. A computer takes in and processes data, but since a computer does not feel happy or unhappy in doing this, a computer does not experience the data. This is the difference between a computer and a mind.

Feeling a level of happiness or unhappiness accompanies either cognition of a sensory object – a sight, sound, smell, taste, or physical sensation such as pleasure or pain – or cognition of a mental object such as when thinking something. It does not need to be dramatic or extreme. It can be very low level. In fact, some level of feeling happy or unhappy accompanies every moment of our life – even when we are deeply asleep with no dreams, we experience it with a neutral feeling.

The Definition of Happiness
Buddhism provides two definitions for happiness. One is defined in terms of our relation to an object, while the other is defined in terms of our relation with the state of mind of the feeling itself.

The first defines happiness as the experiencing of something in a satisfying manner, based on believing that it is of benefit to ourselves, whether or not it actually is. Unhappiness is the experiencing of something in an unsatisfying, tormenting way. We experience something neutrally when it is in neither a satisfying nor a tormenting way.

The second defines happiness as that feeling which, when it has ended, we wish to meet with it once more. Unhappiness as that feeling which, when it arises, we wish to be parted from it. While a neutral feeling is that feeling which, when it arises or ends, we have neither of the two wishes.

The two definitions are related. When we experience something in a satisfying way, the way we experience the object is that the object, literally, “comes to our mind” in a pleasant manner. We accept the object and it remains comfortably as the object of our attention. This implies that we feel our experience of the object is of benefit to us: it makes us happy; it feels good. Because of that, we want the benefit from this experience to continue and, if it ended, we would want it to come back. Colloquially, we would say that we enjoy the object and the experience of it.

When we experience an object in a tormenting manner, this unhappy experience of the object, literally, “does not come to our mind” in a pleasant manner. We do not accept the object and it does not stay as the object of our attention comfortably. We feel that our experience of the object is of no benefit and, in fact, it is hurting us. We want it to end. Colloquially, we would say that we do not enjoy the object or the experience of it.

Exaggeration of the Qualities of an Object
What does it mean to feel comfortable with an object? When we are comfortable with an object, we accept it as it is, without being naive, and without exaggerating or denying its good qualities or its shortcomings. This point brings us to the discussion of disturbing emotions and their relation with whether we experience an object with happiness or unhappiness.

One set of disturbing emotions is lust, attachment, and greed. With all three of them, we exaggerate the good qualities of an object. With lust, we want to get the object if we don’t have it. With attachment, we don’t want to lose it when we do have it; and with greed, we want more even if we do have it. With these disturbing emotions, we tend to ignore the shortcomings of the object. These are not happy states of mind, since we do not find the object satisfying. That means we are not satisfied with the object. We do not accept it for what it is.

For instance, when we see our girlfriend or boyfriend to whom we are very attached, we may experience the sight with happiness. We are satisfied to see the person; we find it satisfying. But as soon as our attachment arises as we exaggerate the good qualities of the person and of being with him or her and we exaggerate the negative qualities of our being without this person, then we feel dissatisfied and unhappy. We do not accept the situation of seeing the person just now and merely enjoying the moment, but we want more and dread his or her going away. Consequently, all of a sudden, we now experience seeing our loved one with dissatisfaction, uneasiness, and unhappiness.

Another set of disturbing emotions is repulsion, anger, and hatred. With these, we exaggerate the shortcomings or negative qualities of the object and want to avoid it if don’t have it; we want to get rid of it when have it; and when it ends, we don’t want it to recur. These three disturbing emotions are usually mixed with fear. They too are not happy states of mind, since we are not satisfied with the object. We do not accept it for what it is.

For example, we could be having root canal work. The object of our experience is a physical sensation of pain. But if we accept it for what it is, without exaggerating its negative qualities, we will not be unhappy during the procedure. We could have a neutral feeling as the way in which we experience the pain: we accept that as long as the procedure takes, it takes and so we are not praying for it to be over quickly; and when the dentist stops drilling, we do not wish for him or her to drill more. We have equanimity about the pain of the drilling – neither repulsion nor attraction nor naivety. In fact, during the procedure, we could experience happiness focused on the thought that we are preventing the future pain of more toothaches.

Note that being happy or satisfied with something does not preclude wanting more or wanting less of something, based on need. It does not make us inactive so that we never try to improve things or to improve ourselves or our situations in life. For example, we can accept, be satisfied and consequently be happy with the progress we have made on carrying out a project at work or on recovering from surgery. But based on need, we can still want to make further progress without being unhappy with what we have achieved so far. The same is the case with the amount of food on our plate or the amount of money we have in the bank, if in fact the reality is that we do not have enough and need more. Without exaggerating the negative aspects of not having enough food to eat or money in the bank, or denying the benefits of having more, we can make efforts to get more food or money without being unhappy about it. If we succeed, it’s OK; and if we fail, that’s OK too, we will somehow manage. But still we try. Most importantly, we try to get more, but without the mental wandering of expectations for success or worries about failure.

Shantideva put it nicely in his chapter on patience:

If it can be remedied,
Why get into a foul mood over something?
And if it can’t be remedied,
What help is it to get into a foul mood over it?

Constructive Behavior as the Principal Source of Happiness
In the long term, the main cause for happiness is constructive behavior. This means refraining from acting, speaking, or thinking under the influence of disturbing emotions such as lust, attachment, greed, repulsion, anger, naivety, and so on, without concern for the long term effect of our behavior on ourselves and on others. Destructive behavior, as the main cause for unhappiness, is not refraining from that type of behavior, but rather engaging in it. For example, with longing desire, we exaggerate the good qualities of an object in a store and ignoring the legal consequences, we steal it. With anger, we exaggerate the negative qualities of something our partner has said and, ignoring the effect it will have on our relationship, we yell at him or her and say cruel words.

Acting, speaking, and thinking while refraining from being under the influence of disturbing emotions builds up the habit to refrain from being under such influence in the future. As a result, if a disturbing emotion arises in the future, we do not act on the basis of it and, eventually, the strength of the disturbing emotion will weaken and eventually the disturbing emotion will hardly arise at all. On the other hand, the more we act on the basis of the disturbing emotions, the more they will arise in the future and the stronger they will be.

As we have seen, when we experience an object with happiness, we experience it without the disturbing emotions of naivety, lust, attachment, greed, repulsion, or anger. Our experiencing of the object is based on accepting its actual nature as what it is, without exaggerating or denying its good or bad points. This way of experiencing things, then, comes from the habit of constructive behavior with which we act, speak, and think likewise based on accepting the actual nature of what people or things or situations are, without exaggerating or denying their good or bad points.

The Circumstances for the Potentials for Happiness to Ripen
Our way of experiencing objects or thoughts – with happiness or unhappiness – is not determined, then, by the object or the thought itself. As we have seen, if with our long-term previous behavior we have built up the habit of refraining from exaggerating or denying the positive or negative aspects of these things, we can experience even the pain of having root canal work in a happy state of mind. Going back to the definition of happiness, we experience the procedure in a satisfying manner, based on believing that it is of benefit to ourselves.

Although we might have built up the habit of refraining from acting, speaking, or thinking under the influence of disturbing emotions and so built up the potential to experience objects and thoughts with happiness, still certain circumstances are necessary for that potential to ripen into an experience of happiness. As we have seen, the object of our experience does not necessarily determine whether we experience it with happiness or unhappiness. Rather, experiencing an object with happiness depends more strongly on our attitude of accepting the actual reality of what the object is, regardless of what that object might be – the painful physical sensation of root canal work or the sight of a loved one. So, our attitude, our state of mind, is critical for whether at the moment we feel happy or unhappy, no matter what object we might be seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, physically sensing, or thinking.

We have also seen that when we accept the reality of what something is and are not naive about it, then we do not exaggerate or deny its good or bad qualities and so we do not experience the object with lust, greed, or attachment or with repulsion or anger. Therefore, what helps to trigger the ripening of happiness at any particular moment is being free of naivety.

Naivety
In any given moment of unhappiness, our naivety is not necessarily restricted to being naive about the object we are experiencing. Naivety has a much wider range. It can also be focused on ourselves. When we are experiencing a problem with great unhappiness, then with naivety we tend to become fixated only on ourselves and we might even think that we are the only one who has ever experienced this problem.

Take the example of losing our job. The reality is that there are millions of people around the world who have lost their jobs and are now unemployed. We can think about our situation without being naive about impermanence, for instance. We remember that all phenomena that arise from causes and circumstances will be affected by further causes and circumstances, and will eventually end. That can be very helpful. But even more effective is to expand the scope of our thinking further to include not only our own but also everyone else’s problem of losing their jobs, if that has happened to them. We need to think, “This is not just my problem alone; it is the problem of an enormous number of people. I am not the only one who needs a solution; everyone else needs a solution too. Everyone needs to overcome such problems and unhappiness.” That is, in fact, the reality.

With this way of thinking, which is without naivety, we develop compassion for others, rather than wallowing in self-pity. Our minds are no longer narrowly focused on just ourselves, but are much more open in thinking about all others in a similar situation. With the wish to help them overcome their problems too, our own individual problems diminish in importance and we develop the courage and strength to deal with them in an objective manner. We certainly did not want to lose our job, but with equanimity we accept the reality of the situation and, thinking of others, we might even be happy at the thought that now we have the opportunity to try to help them.

The Relation between Compassion and Happiness
Compassion, then, is one of the key factors for triggering our potentials to experience an object or a situation with happiness. But how does that work? Compassion is the wish for others to be free of their suffering and the causes for their suffering, just as we wish the same for ourselves. But when we focus on the suffering and unhappiness of others, we naturally feel sad about that, not happy. Or we may have blocked feelings and feel nothing. In either case, we don’t feel happy about their suffering. So, how does compassion bring about a happy state of mind?

To understand this, we need to differentiate upsetting feelings from non upsetting feelings. Here, I am using these terms not with their strict definitions, but in a more colloquial, nontechnical manner. The difference is whether or not the feeling of happy, unhappy, or neutral is mixed with naivety and confusion about the feeling itself. Remember, when we differentiated happiness from unhappiness in general, the variable was whether or not we were naive about the object we were experiencing. Here, even if we do not exaggerate or deny the qualities of an object that we experience with unhappiness, for example, we might still make that unhappy feeling into some sort of solid, truly existent “thing,” like a dark heavy cloud hanging over our heads. We then exaggerate the negative qualities of that feeling and imagine it to be, for instance, “a horrible depression” and we feel trapped inside it. In this case, the naivety is not accepted the unhappy feeling for what it is. After all, a feeling of unhappiness is something that changes from moment to moment as its intensity varies: it is not some sort of solid monolithic object that exists truly on its own, unaffected by anything else.

We can apply a similar analysis to when we experience feeling nothing when thinking of the suffering of others. In this case, when we exaggerate the negative quality of feeling sad or unhappy, we are afraid to feel it and so we block it. We then experience a neutral feeling, neither unhappy nor happy. But then we exaggerate that neutral feeling too, imagining it to be something solid, like a big solid “nothing” that is sitting inside us, preventing us from sincerely feeling anything.

To develop compassion, it is important not to deny that the difficult situations of others are sad, as may be ours, such as when losing our job. It would be unhealthy to be afraid to feel that sadness or to block or repress it. We need to feel this sadness, but in a nonupsetting manner in order to be able to empathize with others’ suffering, to develop the deep sincere wish for others to be free of it, and to take some responsibility to try to help them overcome it. In short, the Buddhist advice is, “Don’t make a solid ‘thing’ out of feeling sad; don’t make a big deal out of it.”

Quieting the Mind
To experience the feeling of sadness in a nonupsetting manner, we need to quiet our minds of all mental wandering and dullness. With mental wandering, our attention flies off to disturbing extraneous thoughts such as thoughts filled with worry, doubt, fear, or thoughts filled with expectations of what we hope will be something more pleasant. With mental dullness, we fall into a mental fog and so become inattentive of everything.

Buddhism is rich in methods for ridding our states of mind of mental wandering and dullness. One of the most basic methods is to quiet down by focusing on our breath. With minimal mental wandering and dullness, our minds are tranquil and serene. In such a state, we can more easily calm down as well any exaggeration or repulsion or indifference to others’ problems and suffering and to our feelings about them. Then even if we initially feel sad, it is not upsetting.

Eventually, however, as our mind relaxes and calms down further, we naturally feel a low level of happiness. In a tranquil mental and emotional state, the natural warmth and happiness of the mind become manifest. If we have built up strong enough potentials for experiencing happiness from having engaged in constructive behavior, our tranquil state of mind helps to trigger them to ripen as well.

Developing Love
We then enhance this happiness with thoughts of love. Love is the wish for others to be happy and to have the causes for happiness. Such a wish naturally follows from compassionate sympathy. Though we feel sad at someone’s pain and sorrow, feeling that way is difficult while actively wishing the person to be happy. When we stop thinking about ourselves and focus instead on someone’s happiness, our heart naturally warms. This automatically brings us a further gentle feeling of joy and can trigger even more potentials to feel happy that were built up over a long time by our constructive behavior. Thus, when love is selfless and sincere, a gentle happiness accompanies it that is not upsetting and our sadness disappears. Just as a parent suffering from a headache forgets the pain while comforting his or her sick child, similarly the sadness we feel at someone’s misfortune disappears while we radiate thoughts of love.

Summary
In short, the long-term, most basic source of happiness according to Buddhism is building up a habit of refraining from acting, speaking or thinking destructively under the influence of disturbing emotions and attitudes such as lust, greed, attachment, repulsion and anger, all of which are rooted in naivety. Such constructive behavior builds up the potentials on our mental continuums for experiencing happiness in the future. We can trigger those potentials to ripen by not exaggerating or denying the good or bad qualities of any object or situation we experience or any level of happiness or unhappiness with which we experience it – regardless of what the object or situation may be. Without naivety, and so without attachment, repulsion, or indifference, we then need to quiet our minds of mental wandering and dullness. We need especially to quiet our minds of worries or expectations. In that serene and tranquil state of mind, we will already feel a low level of happiness and trigger the potentials we might have for feeling even greater happiness.

We then expand our minds by turning our attention to the problems of others and how they might be in even worse situations than ours. We stop thinking of only ourselves. We think how wonderful it would be if all others could be free of their suffering, and how great it would be if we could help them to accomplish that. This strong compassion naturally leads to a feeling of love – the wish for them to be happy. Thinking of their happiness triggers even more of our own potentials for happiness to ripen.

With these thoughts of compassion and love, we may then turn our thoughts to the Buddhas or to any great humanitarian figures. Thinking of their examples, we gain the inspiration to take some responsibility to actually try to help others. This helps us to gain the strength and courage to tackle not only the problems of others, but our own as well – but again, without exaggerating them and without worries about failure or expectations of success.

Q

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2012, 03:07:11 PM »
Dear Vajraprotector,

Thank you for this interesting topic.

Coincidently (or perhaps not...) I too have heard something along these line when it comes to Buddhism. Infact, a few of my friends actually refer Buddhists as morbid because we think and talk about suffering and death all the time!

However, we both know that that is not true, as a real practitioner of the Buddha's Middle Path to Enlightenment brings lasting happiness to ourselves and others.

Although Buddha taught us the Dharma in order to help us achieve everlasting happiness, however, His first teaching was the 4 Nobel Truths, which is suffering. In order to counter the problem, we must understand where the problem is... just like if we are bitten by a poisonous snake, we have to find the type of snake to apply to proper antidote... or it will kill us!

If we look as Happiness in its simplest form, it merely means, 'something that is easily shouldered'... Based on the quote you mentioned: "If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara." It is very obvious that the person who said this has a strong grasp of what true happiness and false happiness means. Very wise... not many people can see through it, that's why some of us refer it as 'Suffering, without knowing we're suffering'.

In terms of Buddhist teachings, what is considered NOT happiness (false happiness) is one that is comes from desire. Desire leads only to more desire, it is part of our delusion of perfectness and many are entrapped in these false state of happiness. The continuous cycle of desires is what makes keeps us in a never ending spiral of 'I want', 'Get it', 'more', 'some more'... and it goes on. I'm sure as samsaric beings, we've all been in this situation one too many time, and after awhile it gets frustrating thus comes un-satisfactory... with dissatisfaction, how can anyone feel it as 'easiness to be shouldered'? Therefore, it is a downfall mentally and spiritually.

True happiness is defined as a state of mind. There is no physical object that can affect it. It is CONSISTENT... not a lucky hole-in-one on the golf course. It is continuous, universal, and calm.

To talk about Happiness in context of Buddhism... there is so much to cover! Through the 4 immeasurables, 8 noble path, realization of our karma, living kindness and compassion, selflessness... all of these are antidotes for our suffering!

So, to make things short and sweet... Here's a famous story from the Buddha's time that shows us how contemplating on death brings about happiness:

Kisagotami is a young mother whose only child has died. Having not seen death before, she carried her child's body thinking the the child was ill and searched for a cure. The Buddha told her to collect some mustard seeds from a household where no one has died. When she couldn't find such a household, she realized the situation. She then became a nun after receiving the Dharma from the Buddha. One day, she observed the flickering of a lamp and reflected on the impermanence of life, happily realizing that this life is indeed impermanent and that to hold on to it increases one's suffering.

Because grasping what we will eventually lose one day, is what causes our suffering. As soon as we realize nothing is permanent in life, as soon as we realize death will come knocking on our door one day (or today), only then can we truly feel real happiness.

dsiluvu

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2012, 06:00:50 PM »

However, we both know that that is not true, as a real practitioner of the Buddha's Middle Path to Enlightenment brings lasting happiness to ourselves and others.

Although Buddha taught us the Dharma in order to help us achieve everlasting happiness, however, His first teaching was the 4 Nobel Truths, which is suffering. In order to counter the problem, we must understand where the problem is... just like if we are bitten by a poisonous snake, we have to find the type of snake to apply to proper antidote... or it will kill us!

If we look as Happiness in its simplest form, it merely means, 'something that is easily shouldered'... Based on the quote you mentioned: "If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara." It is very obvious that the person who said this has a strong grasp of what true happiness and false happiness means. Very wise... not many people can see through it, that's why some of us refer it as 'Suffering, without knowing we're suffering'.

In terms of Buddhist teachings, what is considered NOT happiness (false happiness) is one that is comes from desire. Desire leads only to more desire, it is part of our delusion of perfectness and many are entrapped in these false state of happiness. The continuous cycle of desires is what makes keeps us in a never ending spiral of 'I want', 'Get it', 'more', 'some more'... and it goes on. I'm sure as samsaric beings, we've all been in this situation one too many time, and after awhile it gets frustrating thus comes un-satisfactory... with dissatisfaction, how can anyone feel it as 'easiness to be shouldered'? Therefore, it is a downfall mentally and spiritually.

True happiness is defined as a state of mind. There is no physical object that can affect it. It is CONSISTENT... not a lucky hole-in-one on the golf course. It is continuous, universal, and calm.

To talk about Happiness in context of Buddhism... there is so much to cover! Through the 4 immeasurables, 8 noble path, realization of our karma, living kindness and compassion, selflessness... all of these are antidotes for our suffering!

So, to make things short and sweet... Here's a famous story from the Buddha's time that shows us how contemplating on death brings about happiness:

Kisagotami is a young mother whose only child has died. Having not seen death before, she carried her child's body thinking the the child was ill and searched for a cure. The Buddha told her to collect some mustard seeds from a household where no one has died. When she couldn't find such a household, she realized the situation. She then became a nun after receiving the Dharma from the Buddha. One day, she observed the flickering of a lamp and reflected on the impermanence of life, happily realizing that this life is indeed impermanent and that to hold on to it increases one's suffering.

Because grasping what we will eventually lose one day, is what causes our suffering. As soon as we realize nothing is permanent in life, as soon as we realize death will come knocking on our door one day (or today), only then can we truly feel real happiness.

Thank you Q! I really enjoyed reading your answer to Vajraprotector! It was not a thesis and enough info to digest quickly and beautifully written too! It made more sense now why the man said what he said about the "happiness" statement! In a nutshell everything stems from the 3 main poisons... Ignorance, Desire & Hatred and these root causes are why we are still here, why we are still drowning in the sea of samsara's suffering.

Most often people misunderstand the word "suffering". Some actually look at it as stark, dark and negative and that Buddhism always seem to talk about the negative things in life. But reality check is almost every moment that we go through there is some form of suffering we are going through but failed to notice it...

Just a very simple and grass one is the fact that we get HUNGRY!!! This happens like 3 times a day on an average... I sometimes wonder why can we just not stop feeling HUNGRY... for some it could be more then 3 times a day lol. The point is if we don't eat, we will suffer the pain of gastric or even mood swings which will effect us and eventually will effect our surrounding (people around us). So yes we are in a constant state of suffering, it is not negative, it is reality so long we're in samsara... but Buddha teachings help us learn to recognise it, deal with it and rise above it... YES this is where the Grasping part kicks in and we try our best to remember to practice! ANd GRASPING = ATTACHMENTS.

So in a way every thing becomes like a lesson, every moment is a lesson to measure how much we have improve in the application of the Dharma we learn. Could we eat without the attachment? Sleep without the attachment, shop without the attachment? Love without the attachment? That is the question.

The Death Meditation is perhaps the best and most profound meditation I find helps me deal with all these attachments of I must have it now stuff.


dsiluvu

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2012, 06:04:32 PM »
Here is a simple Contemplative steps of Death Meditation.... if you would like to read more you can venture to http://www.buddhanet.net/deathtib.htm

Contemplation and meditation on death and impermanence are regarded as very important in Buddhism for two reasons : (1) it is only by recognising how precious and how short life is that we are most likely to make it meaningful and to live it fully and (2) by understanding the death process and familiarizing ourself with it, we can remove fear at the time of death and ensure a good rebirth.

Because the way in which we live our lives and our state of mind at death directly influence our future lives, it is said that the aim or mark of a spiritual practitioner is to have no fear or regrets at the time of death. People who practice to the best of their abilities will die, it is said, in a state of great bliss. The mediocre practitioner will die happily. Even the initial practitioner will have neither fear nor dread at the time of death. So one should aim at achieving at least the smallest of these results.

There are two common meditations on death in the Tibetan tradition. The first looks at the certainty and imminence of death and what will be of benefit at the time of death, in order to motivate us to make the best use of our lives. The second is a simulation or rehearsal of the actual death process, which familiarizes us with death and takes away the fear of the unknown, thus allowing us to die skilfully. Traditionally, in Buddhist countries, one is also encouraged to go to a cemetery or burial ground to contemplate on death and become familiar with this inevitable event.

The first of these meditations is known as the nine-round death meditation, in which we contemplate the three roots, the nine reasonings, and the three convictions, as described below:

A. DEATH IS CERTAIN


1. There is no possible way to escape death. No-one ever has, not even Jesus, Buddha, etc. Of the current world population of over 5 billion people, almost none will be alive in 100 years time.

2. Life has a definite, inflexible limit and each moment brings us closer to the finality of this life. We are dying from the moment we are born.

3. Death comes in a moment and its time is unexpected. All that separates us from the next life is one breath.

Conviction: To practise the spiritual path and ripen our inner potential by cultivating positive mental qualities and abandoning disturbing mental qualities.

B. THE TIME OF DEATH IS UNCERTAIN


4. The duration of our lifespan is uncertain. The young can die before the old, the healthy before the sick, etc.

5. There are many causes and circumstances that lead to death, but few that favour the sustenance of life.

Even things that sustain life can kill us, for example food, motor vehicles, property.

6. The weakness and fragility of one's physical body contribute to life's uncertainty.

The body can be easily destroyed by disease or accident, for example cancer, AIDS, vehicle accidents, other disasters.

Conviction: To ripen our inner potential now, without delay.

C. THE ONLY THING THAT CAN HELP US AT THE TIME OF DEATH IS OUR MENTAL/SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT

(because all that goes on to the next life is our mind with its karmic (positive or negative) imprints.)

7. Worldly possessions such as wealth, position, money can't help

8. Relatives and friends can neither prevent death nor go with us.

9. Even our own precious body is of no help to us. We have to leave it behind like a shell, an empty husk, an overcoat.

Conviction: To ripen our inner potential purely, without staining our efforts with attachment to worldly concerns.






negra orquida

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2012, 07:07:18 PM »
Quote
If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara.

I don't know about your fellow Buddhist friend, but most of the Buddhist monks/nuns i see seem pretty happy and peaceful and contented! I suppose if one's "happiness" is increasing and the source of happiness is not based on dharma but delusions, then yes the first statement may be valid. 

Quote
So does it mean as a Buddhist I should contemplate on death and suffering daily and not be happy to enjoy ease/ comfort even if I can?

I think if we contemplate on death everyday and really appreciate what death means, we would actually be happier.  because then we realise that the things which make us mad, annoyed, depressed... don't matter anymore, we let go more easily and give our best in what we are passionate about.

Enjoying ease and comfort: i reckon this becomes un-Dharmic if one over-indulge in it,or get addicted to "enjoying life". death becomes depressing if we think we will go to hell after death.  death becomes an opportunity if we believe that we can somewhat control where you are going to in your next life by creating certain causes.

hope rainbow

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2012, 12:54:25 PM »
If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara.

Very interesting statement indeed, for isn't it usually the opposite that is being said: that the practice of Buddhism would make one happier.

Now, I have heard also the following statement that may come to some use in this topic:

"practicing Dharma is like taking a shower after decades of being in the mud, dirt and filth. The first result of scrapping and watering our layers of dried and incrusted dirt from our body seem to be to make it more dirty, to produce lots of black water, staunch smell and all. But then, of course, one must know that eventually all this will be gone or else one would stop washing up thinking that it makes the filth worse."

Thus:
Your practice of spirituality seems to make you unhappy?
Your first washing in decades seems to make you more dirty?


Ensapa

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2012, 02:02:25 PM »
I think practicing Buddhism makes us re-evaluate our concept of what happiness is. Being happy if our ego was protected or enhanced is not real happiness, and therefore our goals in life and our projections of what makes us happy change. If we seek Buddhism to be more happy and not for the sake of improving our spiritual selves and for the happiness of others, then we have studied Buddhism for the wrong reasons and our motivation for the Dharma will only lead to more suffering since everyone else in samsara wishes for happiness and the end of their own suffering, what makes us think that by having the same mentality, we will be able to get out of suffering? If we want to go towards the Buddha's path, we have to go against the majority and in this case, change the mere purpose in life, that is to be happy and nothing else and to seek our own happiness, is that not following the 8 worldly concerns which the Dharma texts exhort us against from practicing Dharma for?

If we can still be happy and enjoy life while millions of others are suffering and if we still become happier and happier with the realization that many people are suffering, something is a bit weird, but if we no longer suffer because we are less obsessed with getting happy, that sounds a lot more logical.

dondrup

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2012, 09:38:37 AM »
We need to qualify this statement that says, “If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara.” 

Wanting to be happy is the goal of all sentient beings.  However, we must know the correct way to be happy.  We need to be happy without attachment.  When the mind goes into extreme of wanting more and more happiness, it develops attachment to happiness. Attachment to happiness or other pleasant feelings is one of the Eight Worldly Concerns which will give rise to suffering.  We know attachment is one of the three poisons of the mind – the cause of samsaric existence.  We must get rid of attachment to be truly happy.  Hence if we are not attached to our happiness we are practising Dharma correctly.


bambi

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2012, 10:27:18 AM »
Being a Buddhist does not mean we are a morbid bunch of practitioners.  ;D Yes, it is very important to contemplate on death but at the same time also how we can help others while we can. We have a perfect body free with the perfect senses for a purpose. I have heard and seen people regretting what they should have done when they are near death and all did they did when they were healthy was samsaric pleasures only. Before its too late for them or us, we should do the best to help others while I can.

Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, Shantideva writes:

When grasped by death’s agents,
What value are friends,
What value are relatives?
At that moment, the only protection
Is the force of goodness,
But to that I never attended.

The bodhisattva’s activities are based on a motivation very unlike our ordinary attitudes, which are usually selfish and self-centered. In order to attain buddhahood we have to change our mundane thoughts into thoughts of love and compassion for other sentient beings. We have to learn to care, all of the time, on a universal level. Our normal self-centered attitude should be seen as an enemy and a loving and compassionate attitude as the cause of the highest happiness, a real friend of both ourselves and others.

The Mahayana contains a very special practice called “exchanging self for others.” Of course, I can’t change into you or you can’t change into me; that’s not what it means. What we have to change is the attitude of “me first” into the thought of cherishing of others: “Whatever bad things have to happen let them happen to me.” Through meditation we learn to regard self-centeredness as our worst enemy and to transform self-cherishing into love and compassion, until eventually our entire life is dominated by these positive forces. Then everything we do will become beneficial to others; all our actions will naturally become meritorious. This is the influence and power of the bodhisattva’s thought—the bodhi mind, the ultimate flowering of love and compassion into the inspiration to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all other sentient beings.

Tenzin K

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2012, 11:13:25 AM »
Contemplate on death and suffering daily is a good practice. we have ample evidence of death all around us, since everything is changing from moment to moment. A person wishing to ponder death need not go to a cemetery or a funeral home: death is occurring everywhere and at all times. Even the cells of our bodies are constantly being born and dying. All of us are inexorably moving toward physical death in every moment. Since every created thing is impermanent, everything we see, hear, touch, taste, love, despise, or desire is in the process of dying. There is nothing to hold onto, nothing that remains unchanged from moment to moment, and so anyone who tries to find happiness among transient created things is doomed to disappointment.

But this mean we should not be happy?
Happiness is sometimes a very difficult thing to possess. It’s difficult because we
don’t always have a good idea of what true happiness really is. We usually project our own
ideas of what happiness is onto our everyday existence, then we try to make sure that our life
meets those same criteria.

Happiness is sometimes a very difficult thing to possess. It’s difficult because we don’t always have a good idea of what true happiness really is. We usually project our own ideas of what happiness is onto our everyday existence, then we try to make sure that our life meets those same criteria. True happiness can be broadly defined as a mind-state. The characteristics of a mind-state include a sense of universality, continuity and endurance. The mind-state we call true happiness is not temporary, not hit-and-miss; it is not grounded in purely sensual gratification; It does not deal in extremes. It is constant and all-pervasive, and above all it is that which can be borne with ease.

In order to attain this mind-state, according to Buddhist teaching, we must literally begin at the
beginning. In other words, we must have a starting point. This starting point is what Buddhist
teaching calls samvega. Samvega has four basic elements.
1. The first element is that we see the ultimate futility of a life that centers only around the
satisfying of sensual desires.
2. The second element is that we see how complacent we are when it comes to finding true
happiness and to not be satisfied with indulging that complacency.
3. The third element is the development of a feeling of urgency. We must feel an urgent need
to break out of this futility.
4. The fourth element is to accept that Samsaric existence, going round and round in the cycle
of birth, death and rebirth, is ultimately self-defeating.

We need to say to ourselves something like, “It’s pretty silly for me to base my entire life on
indulging my impulses. I know that I’ve been pretty slack when it comes to pursuing what
really means the most in life, and I’ve got to do something about it now because if I don’t, I’m
still stuck on the same old cosmic merry-go-round!”
With that quote from the Buddha we can now delve a little deeper into how the Buddhist
tradition views happiness and the path to that happiness. As many of you know, the
Dhammapada is a famous collection of the Buddha’s sayings taken from various points in his
45-year teaching career. One of the chapters of the Dhammapada is titled, “Happiness” in
which some of the Buddha’s teachings about happiness are listed. In this chapter the Buddha
described elements of a happy life:
• Living without hate among the hateful.
• Living without domination of the passions among those who are dominated by the passions.
• Living without yearning for sensual pleasures among those who yearn for sensual
pleasures.
• Living without being impeded by the Three Poisons of craving, anger and ignorance which
are seen as hindrances to spiritual progress.
• Giving up thoughts of winning or losing.
• Overcoming the Five Aggregates (a sense of objects, emotional attachment to those objects,
categorization of those objects, mental states arising from contact with those objects, a
dualistic view of a perceiver and that which is perceived).
• Subjugating the passions.
• Not being in the company of the foolish but being with the wise.
• Attaining the final happiness which is Nirvana, sometimes referred to as Bliss.

biggyboy

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2012, 11:16:54 AM »
Quote
If your happiness has increased since you became a Buddhist, you are not practicing Dharma correctly, and I suggest you reflect more deeply on the faults of samsara.


Yes, one should go through and experience the sufferings in life to understand the true nature of sufferings itself and not just by intellectual understanding. Life is suffering whether we want to believe if or not.  Many are deceived to believe that what we have been chasing in this materialistic life is happiness for the way being brought up and taught to be.

Whenever a Buddhist were to talk about death, it becomes a "taboo" for many whom has very little understanding of Buddhist teachings to perceive it that way and do not wish to talk about.  To them it will be inauspicious to even mention about it.  It is in fact, death is one point one should meditate upon it for we are not immortal and death is anytime as we cant predict it at all.  Meditation of death is a definite way for us to see the urgency in life to see things as it is and not keep grasping upon materialistic things around us. 

The Buddha taught that the understanding is more important than believing.  And that Enlightenment does not come in the form of grace from the divine path but the results of one's own effort in understanding and experiencing the teachings.  Just like one may not know the sweetness of an apple until he tastes it himself.

Theravada Buddhism, the way to true happiness



Tammy

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2012, 04:09:57 PM »
Religions are supposed to make people happy and at peace with themselves. If a religious centre portraits a negative energy, then it is not going to attract people. Hence it will not serve its purpose of spreading the dharma.
I am not trying to be dharmic on this but from a secular point of view, religions are suppose to make us feel good, do good and be good eventually.
Down with the BAN!!!

Midakpa

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2012, 05:21:00 PM »
I find it hard to agree with this statement.  Buddhism teaches the truth of suffering and how to avoid it. If we practice the Dharma correctly, we should become lighter, more peaceful at heart and thus happier. In spite of the focus on suffering and the nature of Samsara, Buddhism is not a pessimistic religion. Understanding the truth is liberating. The Third Noble truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness attained. This state is called Nirvana. The Buddha assures us that Nirvana is an experience of great happiness. "Nirvana is the highest happiness". (Dhammapada)

RedLantern

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Re: Buddhism Should Not Make You Happy?
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2012, 05:31:54 PM »
Buddha's first teaching after Enlightenment is the 4 noble truths,and the first of these is stressful or painful    and impermanent. The path to liberation from suffering and stress begins with an admission that the nature of life is suffering and stress. If we stopped being 'attached"to "happiness"then happiness won't be a problem
The Devas from the heavenly realmns on the wheel of  life,cannot learn the truth that life is impermanence .
Their life is so pleasant,and so cannot realized enlightenment.May be they can't be happy with their happiness either.When the mind is separated from the body or detached ,it becomes permanent.blissful and eternal Nirvana.