Expectations

[angelsherfield]

Expectations really can make people crazy and act abnormal which the person may not realize at all. It creates anger and disappointment at the inner. The person seems changed to a stranger that you never know.

Just like the closed one. Most couples facing difficulties in maintaining relationship. Both having different expectations at each others. Some couples may discuss about the expectation openly to understand each other better. Some couples may just give up the relationship once either one of them does not meet the expectations. I feel so sad on this as it's such a waste that some couples has been together 6 to 8 years and break due to unmeet expectations and not talking to each other for a long time.

I always believe that no choice is made wrongly or decision is made wrongly. A choice we made is bringing us to the next level of life or experience. Always be responsible on the choice we made. No matter its good or bad, it makes us growth. We always learn something.

Without expectations, it actually create surprises sometimes and reduce disaapointments. We will see things positively, understand others' difficulties and help each others. We will see ourselves that we are more happy. so why not to choose to live happily. :-)

[Ensapa]

Let me put this in very simple terms: as long as we are in samsara, we will still have expectations, because we are dealing with other people and other beings on a daily basis. If we do not need to deal with them then we do not have expectations. Why? because we are not able to truly see the true nature of every being there is. If we did, we would be enlightened. Expectations arise due to our ignorance and our need to latch on to an idea or a concept because we are unable to let go of our comfort zones. Its something we need to function in samsara, but without it, we'll be enlightened.

[jessicajameson]

What Venerable Thubten Chondron said is easy to agree with, but I wouldn't be amazed if everyone who has replied on this thread expected something from a situation or someone today. For me, I expected my lunch to taste good, it didn't. I expected someone to receive me at my workplace, no one did. I expected for the maintenance man to arrive on time, he didn't. I expected for someone not to write with such blatant deception, the person did.

I don't think that for now, to stop expecting something from a situation or from someone is very easy to do. However, my reaction from when something doesn't turn out the way that I expected it to is my primary focus. The moment I feel frustrated, I remember that it was I who had the expectation - it was not realised - why did I have that expectation, and to let go. Not responding with a negative reaction is my first step. More realistic than to say that I will not have any expectations anymore.

I disagree with Ensapa, there are beings who can see the true nature of every being there is, or at least every being whom they encounter with. They are enlightened. We are of with such good fortune to be practitioners during the same time (and plane of existence) as them. I believe that my Guru can see the true nature of every being, including myself. I place my trust in him to guide me to realizing my true nature too.

[Ensapa]

What Venerable Thubten Chondron said is easy to agree with, but I wouldn't be amazed if everyone who has replied on this thread expected something from a situation or someone today. For me, I expected my lunch to taste good, it didn't. I expected someone to receive me at my workplace, no one did. I expected for the maintenance man to arrive on time, he didn't. I expected for someone not to write with such blatant deception, the person did.

I don't think that for now, to stop expecting something from a situation or from someone is very easy to do. However, my reaction from when something doesn't turn out the way that I expected it to is my primary focus. The moment I feel frustrated, I remember that it was I who had the expectation - it was not realised - why did I have that expectation, and to let go. Not responding with a negative reaction is my first step. More realistic than to say that I will not have any expectations anymore.

I disagree with Ensapa, there are beings who can see the true nature of every being there is, or at least every being whom they encounter with. They are enlightened. We are of with such good fortune to be practitioners during the same time (and plane of existence) as them. I believe that my Guru can see the true nature of every being, including myself. I place my trust in him to guide me to realizing my true nature too.

Expectations are part of life. We work based on expectations. Algebra is the whole concept of expectations in the form of a mathematical equation. Programming and the way computer software work these days are all built on expectation. The very fabric of samsara relies on expectation, and the 3 poisons come out from the mishandling of expectations.

Jessicajameson, i was referring to a hypo ethical situation, if we are not this, then we are this situation. To reach that stage of course we all need a Guru to guide us.