Worry- How we keep ourselves from happiness.

[RedLantern]

This is a question from all questions.If the Buddha was happy growing up,he never would have left his castle,his riches his wife and child.Studying faith and religion didn't make him happy. Suffering and starving to cleanse himself didn't help either.There is a general unhappiness that comes from living.
The Buddha had to dedicate his life to a meditative practice and fundamentally shift his understanding of reality to create a sense of supreme contentment.From this view,he lived his life fully and completely.His compassion and wisdom was so profound that people could see the transformation in him from long distances away.Have you ever met someone whose character was so serene that you just felt so drawn to them,hoping it would rub off a little on you?
Those who follow the Buddha's teachings are trying to establish a life where they can recreate that fundamental shift in mind and find that same supreme contentment called 'nirvana'. Other people pull some of the Buddha's wisdom and try to balance the mundane life with enough of Buddhist wisdom to be happy enough and engage enough in life to be satisfied.Even those without Buddhist background seek their own method in prayer,therapy,yoga,personal introspection etc.
We all want to be happy,and yet happiness always seems to be over the next hill or momentary like a bouquet of flowers.Nothing is more elusive than happiness.
Why is that? So "don't worry be happy?" Have a good starting point along the path to happiness.

[diamond girl]

I have another question: What is Happiness? I think that it is as loosely used as the word "love". When we use this word do we really know what is means and the "liability" behind the words. To love someone means you are also responsible for them in terms of caring, understanding, companionship, tolerance...and the list goes on...

So, what is happiness? Do we define it by who we are or what we do? Is happiness living for others or living for one self? Is it happiness when you make someone (even a stranger) happy? Or when you make yourself happy so that those around you are happy with your happy presence?

Now, is happiness over rated or what?

[dondrup]

Why are we not happy? 

We are unhappy because we are suffering in samsara.  There are the seven sufferings or the three sufferings.  The seven sufferings are suffering of birth, suffering of ageing, suffering of sickness, suffering of death, having to part with what we like, having to encounter what we don’t like; and failing to satisfy our desires.  The three sufferings are the suffering of manifest pain, changing suffering and pervasive suffering.

Buddha says: Through knowing true sufferings, we should develop a strong wish to eliminate them; to eliminate them, we must strive to abandon their main cause, true origins; and to abandon true origins we must attain true cessations by meditating on true paths.

By putting the Four Noble Truths into practice, eventually we shall gain realisation and attain cessation of our unhappiness and achieve permanent liberation of samsara – the true happiness that we have been seeking for.

[diamond girl]

Why are we not happy? 

We are unhappy because we are suffering in samsara.  There are the seven sufferings or the three sufferings.  The seven sufferings are suffering of birth, suffering of ageing, suffering of sickness, suffering of death, having to part with what we like, having to encounter what we don’t like; and failing to satisfy our desires.  The three sufferings are the suffering of manifest pain, changing suffering and pervasive suffering.

Buddha says: Through knowing true sufferings, we should develop a strong wish to eliminate them; to eliminate them, we must strive to abandon their main cause, true origins; and to abandon true origins we must attain true cessations by meditating on true paths.

By putting the Four Noble Truths into practice, eventually we shall gain realisation and attain cessation of our unhappiness and achieve permanent liberation of samsara – the true happiness that we have been seeking for.

Dear Dondrup,
So happiness is being Buddha? To embrace virtues of the Buddha is happiness... thus many in samsara will not have happiness 

And to many, it would be too hard to attain happiness if it means being Buddha. Could this be why many chose other religions that lure them by feeding their deluded minds of happiness? I know of many religions where happiness is going to heaven and it is self-contained and self-indulgent... sigh.

[yontenjamyang]

Why are we not happy? 

We are unhappy because we are suffering in samsara.  There are the seven sufferings or the three sufferings.  The seven sufferings are suffering of birth, suffering of ageing, suffering of sickness, suffering of death, having to part with what we like, having to encounter what we don’t like; and failing to satisfy our desires.  The three sufferings are the suffering of manifest pain, changing suffering and pervasive suffering.

Buddha says: Through knowing true sufferings, we should develop a strong wish to eliminate them; to eliminate them, we must strive to abandon their main cause, true origins; and to abandon true origins we must attain true cessations by meditating on true paths.

By putting the Four Noble Truths into practice, eventually we shall gain realisation and attain cessation of our unhappiness and achieve permanent liberation of samsara – the true happiness that we have been seeking for.

The first of the 4 Noble Truth is the Truth of Suffering. This is means everything in Samsara is by nature suffering. That does not mean that it has no happiness but this happiness is temporary. For example, we may have good food. We experience "happiness" from the good food. We feel satisfied. However, if we eat too much from wanting lots of "happiness" we suffer from indigestion. Or we suffer from the "happiness" waning after consuming a few servings. We suffer from not getting the same food or the same food does not have the same delicious taste as we expected. Or we want to order this dish but our friends does not want us to. We suffer. This can be applied to everything that we think brings happiness.
So in Samsara, everything has a nature of suffering. But in order to experience a little "happiness" we spend our entire lives chasing after the sufferings.

[Tenzin K]

One of the core tenets of Buddhism is that suffering has a cause and that cause is sometimes craving and attachment. It is logical to assume, then, when we give up clinging to certain life conditions, the chance for happiness and contentment will increase. There is a myth about Buddhism that true enlightenment only happens when we give up all our worldly possessions and go off to live in a cave. You don’t have to take such drastic action in order to find self fulfillment. The best translation I have found for non-attachment is “the determination to be free.” Simple acts of letting go of our emotional clinginess can make a huge difference in improving our mental health.
Here are some real-life ways that I have found to practice non-attachment:
 
Stop placing conditions on your happiness.
Do you say things like, “I will be happy when…” and then insert some condition you feel will make you happy? Some of these conditions might be that you will only be happy if you lose weight, get the perfect job, find the perfect mate, or have no worries. We are imperfect beings living in an imperfect world. It is guaranteed that life will throw you some road blocks and that you may never achieve the conditions you feel will make you happy. And even if you meet some of your goals there is also no guarantee that what you thought would make you happy will actually do so. This does not mean you give up your aspirations and goals. It simply means that you don’t delay contentment and happiness by waiting for the perfect conditions to occur.

• Replace the phrase, “I need” with “I want.”
 
I remember when one of my sons was in grade school the teacher gave the children an assignment of writing down all of their needs. The attachment to material possessions begins early and many of the kids wrote down things which were not really needs but wants such as video games, special toys, or junk food. When the children were instructed to then separate the list by wants vs. needs, the needs list was actually quite small. We are a society of consumption and the focus on material wants can create a feeling of never being quite satisfied as we don’t understand the concept of “enough.” The emotional rush that we get from buying things is temporary and in some cases can lead to a shopping addiction.  A re-focus on simplicity can give one a feeling of emotional freedom from being sucked into mindless consumption.
 
 
• Focus on the journey and not some expected outcome.
 
One life lesson I have learned the hard way is to let go of any set outcomes I may envision for my future. You may think that you are on a straight line course towards meeting all your goals but life has a way of changing on a dime. For example in my own life I never expected to have a child with a major disability or that I would be diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Things happen we don’t expect. If we set our hearts on certain outcomes of how we expect life to go, we are setting ourselves up for endless disappointment and bitterness. Whether or not our life goes as we planned is less important than finding happiness and contentment despite the challenges. Letting go of our emotional attachment to expected outcomes frees us from misery and allows us to adapt to change.

[Ensapa]

Happiness is more or less a mental state that we all want to believe that it is real. It is not real because it is highly subjective and hence everyone has their own definition of what happiness is as it is what they can experience is limited by their perception. Their notion of what happiness is, is also defined by their past experiences in addition to their tendencies. Therefore, happiness is but a concept that lacks any form of concrete truth. It is not something that has an absolute definition to it other than the fact that it is the opposite of suffering as most beings can only experience or register either happiness or suffering. That is why not putting a cap to what one's happiness is very important.

[apprenticehealer]

We can make ourselves unhappy or happy. It's what we want for ourselves - we create the situation that we are in.
Being in depression or in joy is up to us ! We have the choice to decide for ourselves. If we have less expectations of ourselves and of others , if we feel grateful for what we already have, if we can change our negative thoughts to positive ones, if we bring into our lives Loving Kindness, Compassion and Forgiveness (as taught by Lord Buddha ) to others , including ourselves, then i believe we can achieve happiness.
One of the main causes for suffering is attachment - attachment to our own ego . And this attachment to the self cherishing mind can be addictive, fanatical, obsessive and sure way to self destruction and unhappiness!
We can be happy and bring happiness to others or we can be unhappy and make others miserable as well! We have the intelligence to choose !

[hope rainbow]

This is a question from all questions.If the Buddha was happy growing up,he never would have left his castle,his riches his wife and child.Studying faith and religion didn't make him happy. Suffering and starving to cleanse himself didn't help either.There is a general unhappiness that comes from living.
The Buddha had to dedicate his life to a meditative practice and fundamentally shift his understanding of reality to create a sense of supreme contentment.From this view,he lived his life fully and completely.His compassion and wisdom was so profound that people could see the transformation in him from long distances away.Have you ever met someone whose character was so serene that you just felt so drawn to them,hoping it would rub off a little on you?
Those who follow the Buddha's teachings are trying to establish a life where they can recreate that fundamental shift in mind and find that same supreme contentment called 'nirvana'. Other people pull some of the Buddha's wisdom and try to balance the mundane life with enough of Buddhist wisdom to be happy enough and engage enough in life to be satisfied.Even those without Buddhist background seek their own method in prayer,therapy,yoga,personal introspection etc.
We all want to be happy,and yet happiness always seems to be over the next hill or momentary like a bouquet of flowers.Nothing is more elusive than happiness.
Why is that? So "don't worry be happy?" Have a good starting point along the path to happiness.

Actually, from the ground of everything going too well, or from the ground of everything going really bad, it should be easier to think about suffering.
From both perspectives, one is geared to wonder and then eventually face suffering for what it is: an entrapment.

Yet from the ground of a compromise, of a balance, when things are not too well, and not too bad, one is less geared to think.

This is why we see very often drastic changes in people that have suddenly "lost" everything, or suddenly "gained" lots... The change of perspective gears us up to think more, we get out of numbness somehow.

Numbness is not happiness, it is numbness, a state we can compare to being "not sick-nor nonsick".

[dondrup]

Why are we not happy? 

We are unhappy because we are suffering in samsara.  There are the seven sufferings or the three sufferings.  The seven sufferings are suffering of birth, suffering of ageing, suffering of sickness, suffering of death, having to part with what we like, having to encounter what we don’t like; and failing to satisfy our desires.  The three sufferings are the suffering of manifest pain, changing suffering and pervasive suffering.

Buddha says: Through knowing true sufferings, we should develop a strong wish to eliminate them; to eliminate them, we must strive to abandon their main cause, true origins; and to abandon true origins we must attain true cessations by meditating on true paths.

By putting the Four Noble Truths into practice, eventually we shall gain realisation and attain cessation of our unhappiness and achieve permanent liberation of samsara – the true happiness that we have been seeking for.

Dear Dondrup,
So happiness is being Buddha? To embrace virtues of the Buddha is happiness... thus many in samsara will not have happiness 

And to many, it would be too hard to attain happiness if it means being Buddha. Could this be why many chose other religions that lure them by feeding their deluded minds of happiness? I know of many religions where happiness is going to heaven and it is self-contained and self-indulgent... sigh.

Dear Diamond Girl

Every sentient being without exception is seeking for happiness wherever they are now.  It is not that they couldn’t find happiness.  It is that the happiness that they are seeking is short-lived.  This is clearly explained by Buddha with the Truth of Sufferings above.  We can’t be Buddha overnight. But we can practise what Buddha taught and gradually transform ourselves in order to find the ultimate happiness that we want. 

Buddha’s teachings or Dharma is the medicine to eradicate our unhappiness. We need to create the causes of happiness e.g. by practising the ten virtues that Buddha had taught i.e. to refrain from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, hurtful speech, divisive speech, idle chatter, covetousness, malicious thought and wrong view.

It is not difficult to experience the effect of practising virtues.  Once our positive karma grows due to practising virtues, we can experience more and more happiness.  This is achievable by many in samsara now.  The long term goal is not to remain at this level of attainment but to accomplish the ultimate happiness of a Buddha.

[buddhalovely]

We have unhappiness, we have pain, and that of course is coming from some sort of cause. For instance, we could be acting in a very disturbing way – with a lot of anger, for example. And of course nobody is happy while being angry, are they? And so one has to recognize that anger here is causing our unhappiness. You have to somehow get rid of the anger. Or worrying, for example. Worrying is a very unpleasant state of mind. Nobody’s happy while they are worrying, are they? A great Indian master said that in a difficult situation in which you can do something to change it, why worry? Just change it. Worrying isn’t going to help. And if there’s nothing you can do to change it, why worry? That also isn’t going to help. So we have confusion about that, and then we continue to worry. There’s no benefit from worrying is the point here.

[Q]

Worry is the very reason why the psychiatrist have so many patients on a daily basis! I wish I had the ability to teach them Dharma, it would be more effective then their medication and will benefit them in the long run.

You would be surprised how many high profile, highly educated and intelligent people fall into depression due to stress and worry for their mundane jobs. Sometimes it makes me feel really strange how some people can go through so much just to gain success in a secular job, and once they gained success, they are totally spent... and fall into the vacuum of being worried about losing what they have gained.

Some people fall far below the par of happiness because they feel they are in a position that is totally out of their control. They lose themselves worrying about what will be rather than appreciating every single moment being alive. I believe the very reason people don't see the bigger picture and start worrying themselves to death is because they do not think of death! They think everything that evolves around them is permanent, even their problems, which leads them to be extremely dissatisfied with the situation that they have trapped themselves in. They allow their worries to cripple them to the point of dis functioning even though they have the perfect endowments to overcome the challenges they face. How unfortunate.

When we realize that happiness is actually an easily attainable state, our worries will decrease. When we are able to overcome our fears, happiness will set in. Just remember "Worry gives a small problem big shadows"

[vajrastorm]

What is happiness?

Happiness is from within us. It is a state of mind that is free from suffering.

It is not the temporary happiness or relief from suffering that we experience when we get what we have yearned to get, such as, getting the job or the car we have dreamed of getting. Nor is it the relief of being free of an obnoxious colleague.

Samsara is in the nature of suffering. So how can we be free of suffering, unless we develop a mind that allows us to be free of it? That mind is a mind of peace.That is the mind whose owner appears to you to be always calm and not suffering. That is a state of mind that knows true happiness. When that state is achieved, you have gone beyond sorrow into Nirvana.

The mind of peace is a mind that is free of all mentally fabricated projections and expectations and delusions - no contaminated love, no hate nor aversion, no self-cherishing, no pride and arrogance, no jealousy. It is a mind of equanimity that has transcended walls and labels. 

Seeing that what makes us suffer is a pervasive dissatisfaction, that cannot be relieved permanently unless we find out the cause, let's find out the cause.

The cause lies within us

[pgdharma]

The search for happiness is universal.  Everything we do comes down to our fundamental desire to be happy. Marriage, promotion, retirement – we set up milestones, believing that once they are achieved, happiness will be ours. Many of us believe that our happiness depends on how successfully we satisfy those personal needs. However, those are temporal happiness and happiness does not depend on that, in fact, the more self-centered we become, the less happy we become. Our quest for happiness is that we are searching for eternal happiness. We want to secure the kind of happiness that will never expire.

Eternal happiness comes when our works and words are of benefit to our self and others. One of the core tenets of Buddhism is that suffering has a cause and that cause is sometimes craving and attachment. When we give up clinging to certain life conditions, the chance for happiness and contentment will increase. Simple acts of letting go of our emotional clinging can make a huge difference in improving our mental health; our state of mind. By putting the Eight Verses of Training the Mind into practice we shall experience ultimate happiness, purify all our negative karma and obstacles, and eliminate the ignorant minds of self-cherishing and self-grasping, the principal cause of suffering. Thus it is our choice whether we want to have temporal happiness or eternal happiness.

[Positive Change]

HAPPINESS - A STATE OF BEING?

For Buddha, the path to happiness starts from an understanding of the root causes of suffering. Those who consider Buddha a pessimist because of his concern with suffering have missed the point. In fact, he is like a skillful doctor — he may break the bad news of our suffering, but he also prescribes a proactive course of treatment. In this metaphor, the medicine is the Buddha’s teachings of wisdom and compassion known as Dharma, and the nurses that encourage us and show us how to take them are the Buddhist community or Sangha. The illness however, can only be cured if the patient follows the doctor’s advice and follows the course of treatment—the Eightfold Path, the core of which involves control of the mind.

In Buddhism, this treatment is not a simple medicine to be swallowed, but a daily practice of mindful thought and action that we ourselves can test scientifically through our own experience. Meditation is, of course, the most well known tool of this practice, but contrary to popular belief, it is not about detaching from the world. Rather it is a tool to train the mind not to dwell in the past or the future, but to live in the here and now, the realm in which we can experience peace most readily.


BUDDHISM & HAPPINESS

The first and second verses of the Dhammapada, the earliest known collection of Buddha’s sayings, talk about suffering and happiness. So it’s not surprising to discover that Buddhism has a lot to offer on the topic of happiness. Buddha’s contemporaries described him as “ever-smiling” and portrayals of Buddha almost always depict him with a smile on his face. But rather than the smile of a self-satisfied, materially-rich or celebrated man, Buddha’s smile comes from a deep equanimity from within.


"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thoughts. It is made up of our thoughts. If one speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows one, as the wheel follows the foot of the ox that draws the wagon.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. It is founded on our thoughts. It is made up of our thoughts. If one speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows one, like a shadow that never leaves."