If You Love, Love Openly

[sonamdhargey]

A story to share with you all about being open. Let me know what you all think?

Twenty monks and one nun, who was named Eshun, were practicing meditation with a certain Zen master.

Eshun was very pretty even though her head was shaved and her dress plain. Several monks secretly fell in love with her. One of them wrote her a love letter, insisting upon a private meeting.

Eshun did not reply. The following day the master gave a lecture to the group, and when it was over, Eshun arose. Addressing the one who had written her, she said: "If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now."

[dondrup]

"If you really love me so much, come and embrace me now."

Eshun is skilful in declaring the above statement!  Ordained monks have already left home and abandoned the Eight Worldly Concerns especially the desire for women.  Why are they allowing their mind to entertain the thought of desire for Eshun?  Shouldn’t the monks practise abstention from having the desire for women?

Zen practice aims to accomplish the realisation of the emptiness of self and phenomena.  Who is this “person” that loves Eshun?  What is this “love”? What is “Eshun”?  These objects are empty of inherent existences.  Hence Eshun is prompting the monks to practise non-attachment.

[fruven]

If you have non-attachment embracing her won't made any difference because the love is unconditional. For those with strong attachment sometimes not acting it will also made the attachment grows stronger because of the mind focusing on it and we are not familiar with countering the attached mind or more correctly the attached "I". One way is focusing on the person's happiness in this live and future lives as well. If you like someone you want him or her to be happy. It is kind of tricky. Therefore one should also always have the thought of sharing and learning Dharma together with others to repay one's guru kindness.

[yontenjamyang]

A very good story!

The nun Eshun is asking her secret admire to openly declare his love for her to make him realise:

1) Honesty. If the monk has the feeling then he has the feeling. He should not hide it.
2) Come and embrace her now and see what happens. I think to make him examine his internal feelings and perceptions.
3) Make him realize his attachment to her form and his feelings are not real but exist because of his attachment and ignorance.

For form, feeling, perception, formations and consciousness do not have inherent existence but arises in dependent on our delusions.

[Aurore]

The motivation of a true practicing nun like Eshun would not be to challenge the monk who wrote her the love letter to be open about his love for her. I doubt she meant it for the monk to prove his love either. That is the usual samsaric motivation! Hence, I don't agree with the title of this thread about loving openly.

Everyone has some form of attachments. No one is free from it as long as we are not Enlightened. Even monks can have faults as not all has completely let go of their attachments to beauty and sexual desires, the first step to deal with one's attachment IS to face one's attachment. Suppressing, hiding and going behind other's back committing negativities will only make the attachment go deeper and stronger. The faster one embrace their attachment, recognise it and realise it, one can work on lessening it.

True love in the context of Buddhism is to pray for our loved ones a good rebirth and gain liberation. The best way to do that is to become a monk/nun and to do selfless work for others. If the monk truly love Eshun, he will want her to maintain her practice and gain attainments. As for his feelings and attachments for her, it shall be part of his practice to deal with it.

[sonamdhargey]

The motivation of a true practicing nun like Eshun would not be to challenge the monk who wrote her the love letter to be open about his love for her. I doubt she meant it for the monk to prove his love either. That is the usual samsaric motivation! Hence, I don't agree with the title of this thread about loving openly.

Everyone has some form of attachments. No one is free from it as long as we are not Enlightened. Even monks can have faults as not all has completely let go of their attachments to beauty and sexual desires, the first step to deal with one's attachment IS to face one's attachment. Suppressing, hiding and going behind other's back committing negativities will only make the attachment go deeper and stronger. The faster one embrace their attachment, recognise it and realise it, one can work on lessening it.

True love in the context of Buddhism is to pray for our loved ones a good rebirth and gain liberation. The best way to do that is to become a monk/nun and to do selfless work for others. If the monk truly love Eshun, he will want her to maintain her practice and gain attainments. As for his feelings and attachments for her, it shall be part of his practice to deal with it.

Frist of all thank you all for your insights and opinions. In my opinion, what the title meant is exactly what it says. If you love, love openly. I don't want to assume what the nun meant when she challenge that monk to embrace her, however i believe what she is trying to do is be as open about love as possible becuase what is the point of keeping secret about your love for someone? If you really love someone, openly declare it and not hide and keep it a secret because if that is the case then it is not love perhaps. With all due respect becoing a monk is to practice renunciation and a monk is still a man they are not perfect and some are influenced by desire and etc which makes their practice redundant.