Selfishness

[DharmaDefender]

We talk a lot about motivation on this forum, and it has revealed some differences of opinion. Some people say that the Dalai Lama is a power-hungry despot out to unify all the Buddhist schools with the intention of being the sole head of Buddhism. They say he has disparaged his gurus and has no basis to teach because he has broken his vows and lineage.

Others disagree (I'm one of them!) and say the Dalai Lama's motivation for banning Dorje Shugden goes beyond what meets the eye. They say that his deeper intention is to create controversy and spread Dorje Shugden's name by generating publicity, that he is creating strongholds of pure practice by creating conditions for practitioners to be more committed to their vows, that he's doing this to purify obstacles, that he's working with Dorje Shugden and Nechung etc.

So, back to motivation. I was just wondering what were people's thoughts on the following:

Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

Is that selfish? Why? I know Dorje Shugden's practice removes selfishness so is such behaviour in accordance with the practice and prayers? Answers on a postcard please!

[DSFriend]

We talk a lot about motivation on this forum, and it has revealed some differences of opinion. Some people say that the Dalai Lama is a power-hungry despot out to unify all the Buddhist schools with the intention of being the sole head of Buddhism. They say he has disparaged his gurus and has no basis to teach because he has broken his vows and lineage.

Others disagree (I'm one of them!) and say the Dalai Lama's motivation for banning Dorje Shugden goes beyond what meets the eye. They say that his deeper intention is to create controversy and spread Dorje Shugden's name by generating publicity, that he is creating strongholds of pure practice by creating conditions for practitioners to be more committed to their vows, that he's doing this to purify obstacles, that he's working with Dorje Shugden and Nechung etc.

I find that the discussions in this forum is based on logic. Information is presented in a non-biased way and I appreciates it very much. From reading them and discussing it in the forum, I do see that the Dalai Lama is doing an amazing deed for the spread of BuddhaDharma and also Dorje Shugden's practice.

So, back to motivation. I was just wondering what were people's thoughts on the following:

Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

A clown or a comedian could fall into what you just described..or even most people. I've met many people who fits exactly what you have just described.

Money, fame, power...etc is not necessarily bad. But it is indeed all about the motivation. For example, it is necessary to be motivated about acquiring money. How else would we build huge temples and spread the dharma. 

Is that selfish? Why? I know Dorje Shugden's practice removes selfishness so is such behaviour in accordance with the practice and prayers? Answers on a postcard please!

"Doing it in their own current capacity" may not necessarily be a bad thing as this person may be sincere and continues to work on expanding their own capacity to do more. What would be selfish and stunt the possibility of achieving renunciation (where true happiness can be attained) is if we do not expand our capacity for others.

Yes Dorje Shugden's practice directly helps us to overcome the many obstacles of such and more until we attain bodhicitta..

[lightning]

Whether selfish or not? Most importantly, we must take care of our own cultivation in Dharma practice first. Some of the re-incarnated tulkus may appear not does not have benefit for sentient beings and some may appear to bring great damage instead. And all these are due to the common karma manifested by the sentient beings. Whatever these Tulkus appear "on the stage play and playing games", we take it as a lesson to forewarn the sentient beings. Hence, we must have wisdom to discern and contemplate their actions and follow in accordance to the authentic Dharma instructions to survive and thrive in our own Dharma practice.

Whenever "Big names" appears, they are very eye catching and if they do not have great benefit for the sentient beings, it is lessons for learning and reflection. Just like Marpa asked his disciple, who doe he prostrate first? To the Guru or the Yidam first? Immediately, the disciple replied could he see the Yidam first because he have not seen Yidam before. According to the disciple's wish, Marpa manifested as Hevajra for a while, then reabsorb back. Marpa appear unhappy and spoke to His disciple that he has created negative karma, as without Guru, there will manifestation of Yidam. Later his disciple has a series of misfortune happened due to his negative karma ripen for he's disrespect of His Guru and Dharma. At the end of the day, various Lineage Masters have taught us a lot of lessons through their life stories.

We recognized only those Tulkus or Living Buddhas who have great benefit for the sentient beings and learn their examples. Ie Nagaurjna, Atisha, Je TsongKhaPa, Je PaBongKha, Trijang Rinpoche, Song Rinpoche etc. Whether any Lamas are doing the right course of actions, most of us should know it in our hearts. The 7th Incarnation of HHDL has greatly benefited the sentient beings and Gelugpa through His extentsive work.

[Helena]

Most of the time selfishness creeps up on us without us even realising it.

A dear friend of mine told me that as long as we are still stuck in samsara, it means we are practising more 8 worldy concerns and not real Dharma. As long as we are practising more of 8 worldly concerns, we are still selfish to varying degrees.

In most situations, I notice that every individual is always thinking about himself or herself first - and not about someone else. Selfishness has marred our pure souls until we can't differentiate what's truly good and what's truly bad. The worst thing is that we keep thinking we are right and others are wrong.

Selfishness wears different guises to project itself as various things. It hides its true form in that way. That is why it takes so much effort to cut through all the layers.

How do you know you are no longer selfish?

I guess, when nothing affects you or throws you off in a negative way. And your own response to that person or situation does not provoke any actions of body, speech and mind from you that will lead you to incur more bad karma.

It takes a lot of reflection and honesty to look at oneself that deeply and openly.

[hope rainbow]

Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

I think this is one of the reasons why wisdom is one wing, and compassion is the other.
Our compassion is limited to our realization of suffering.
By lacking wisdom, we can't see suffering; and if we can't see suffering, how can we even start to develop compassion?
To remain in our own "capacity"  means we can only help in a limited capacity.
I would think that if one realizes his limitations, then it is sellfish not to act as to reach further and be able to help more people, more efficaciously.

[Helena]

Not everyone knows that they can do something to make a difference to someone else - even if it is a small gesture.

Not everyone realises that their own limitations can be broken down when they help someone else.

When our mind and heart expand to include others in - we can break free of our own perceived limitations.

When we start looking out and not within, we will be very surprised to find that our limitations are just part of our imagination. And that imagination is a fear that is spawned from selfishness.

[kurava]

Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

Is that selfish? Why? I know Dorje Shugden's practice removes selfishness so is such behaviour in accordance with the practice and prayers? Answers on a postcard please!

To non practitioners helping others in one’s own capacity is perfectly acceptable, it’s the wise way by worldly standard. Hence, someone that is not be motivated by money, fame, status etc will not push himself to go beyond his capacity to help others.

However, to practitioners, staying within one’s comfort zone is selfishness.

DS practice pushes its practitioners beyond that level. When we realize that we cannot help others much in our current situation or capacity as an ordinary being, we will push ourselves to higher level with higher motivation. That is the combustion power needed for real transformation.

[hope rainbow]

Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.
Is that selfish? Why? I know Dorje Shugden's practice removes selfishness so is such behaviour in accordance with the practice and prayers? Answers on a postcard please!

To non practitioners helping others in one’s own capacity is perfectly acceptable, it’s the wise way by worldly standard. Hence, someone that is not be motivated by money, fame, status etc will not push himself to go beyond his capacity to help others.
However, to practitioners, staying within one’s comfort zone is selfishness.
DS practice pushes its practitioners beyond that level. When we realize that we cannot help others much in our current situation or capacity as an ordinary being, we will push ourselves to higher level with higher motivation. That is the combustion power needed for real transformation.

So, in other words, one's acceptance and RESIGNATION of being helpless (to be helpful to others) is sellfishness in itself, (even if helpful to a lesser level).
But one's recognition of helplessness and then ACTION-ANTIDOTE upon it so as to (eventually) be of qualified, efficacious and wise help to others is a first step to break out of selfishness?

[Helena]

I tend to agree with Kurava.

I do somehow feel that is the my experience with Dorje Shugden practice. It pushes me to go beyond myself.

Many times, I felt that I have had reached my limit and it was all I could endure or take, but somehow, something would happen and it would show me that I can do more - be it inch by inch or a real shove ahead. Either way, at the end of the day, I realise that my limits have just been widened or expanded. I am no longer bound by my original parameters. It has enlarged itself.

In a more positive light, when we recognise our own limitations and yet not get stuck on them, then we are actively seeking ways to break free from such limitations.

After all, the perceived limitations only exist in our minds due to some fears or insecurities, reinforced by our past experiences. If we do challenge ourselves, we can break down all these barriers. Eventually, we would find that we are tearing away our own selfishness.

This is what Dorje Shugden Practice is all about - killing the self-cherishing mind.

[triesa]

I realise a lot of the time when we are doing Dharma work or dharma practise, it still evolves around the eight wordly concerns, it is still based on a self motivated purpose.

To be completely free of the eight wordly concerns is not impossible, but I must admit it is still difficult for me at present.

Therefore I must rely upon my Guru and Dorje Shugden.

[Helena]

Dear Triesa,

I agree with you that it seems impossible to be free of the Eight Worldly Concerns in our daily practice and every-day lives. However, I take heart in the inspiring examples of our Gurus and all the High Lamas around us. They can, and because they can, we can too. With consistent effort, we can definitely achieve a state that is free of Eight Worldly Concerns some day.

The point is never to give up just because it is hard or seems impossible.

Every day, we will gain new grounds of success in our consistent, determined practice.

Therein lies true hope and our eventual liberation.

[triesa]

Thank you Helena.

Consistency, effort and not giving up are keys to all practices, including eradicating selfishness.

It will be such a liberated feeling when one day I can truely practise Dharma without the eight wordly concerns.

[Vajraprotector]

So, back to motivation. I was just wondering what were people's thoughts on the following:
Say someone is unmotivated by anything. Money, fame, power, reputation, status does nothing for them. They're just happy as they are. They don't want anything more other than to make others happy, BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

Is that selfish? Why? I know Dorje Shugden's practice removes selfishness so is such behaviour in accordance with the practice and prayers? Answers on a postcard please!

Dear DharmaDefender,
Selfishness (and ego) manifest in many form. Unmotivated by money, fame, power etc doesn't mean they are not selfish, perhaps they are just too damn lazy and comfortable in their comfort zone to even do anything! There are people who are unattached by money/fame/power etc but will pursue them for others' happiness and there are those who claim that they are "unattached" but are just lazy bums, 

I believe that His Holiness is someone who is selfless and his purpose in life is to provide and care for others, just like his previous incarnations for many lifetimes. Someone who has made Tibetan Buddhism global cannot be someone who wants to destroy it for mere selfish reason.

He could have just stayed quiet in India after exile and take on a defeatist attituden, but he didn't - He founded the exiled government  and re-established the approximately 80,000 Tibetan refugees who followed him into exile in agricultural settlements. He created a Tibetan educational system in order to teach the Tibetan children the traditional language, history, religion, and culture. During 1963, he promulgated a democratic constitution which is based upon the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, creating an elected parliament and an administration to champion his cause. (Why would someone create a parliament if he's power crazy - he could remain the monarch).

His Holiness has since travelled the world to champion the rights of Tibetans and also to share the Dharma non-stop and he's still doing that now with no view of 'retiring'. Well, if someone still wants to say His Holines is selfish, I would ask  that person to do a self-reflection on what kind of contribution has one done in order to criticise His Holiness' selfishness. Surely, our contribution pales in comparision to His Holiness'.

[beggar]

.... BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

I think this sentence alone sums up the whole picture. "BUT" makes the whole motivation of helping others a conditional one. He will helps only BUT ONLY IF such-and-such condition is right. Which of course, goes back to a selfishness, that we only want to do something if it is comfortable and convenient for us.

Also, "they only want to do that in their current capacity"... seems to indicate that if situations changed, that he was force out of that comfortable place, he won't be helping anymore because again, the conditions are no longer right.

Being motivated (or demotivated) because of a want of comfort (or wish to avoid discomfort) is also a kind of selfishness. We do something because it feels good, or because we're trying to get out of feeling not good; we're not doing it necessarily because it will really help someone.

[Carpenter]

.... BUT they only want to do that in their current capacity.

I think this sentence alone sums up the whole picture. "BUT" makes the whole motivation of helping others a conditional one. He will helps only BUT ONLY IF such-and-such condition is right. Which of course, goes back to a selfishness, that we only want to do something if it is comfortable and convenient for us.

Also, "they only want to do that in their current capacity"... seems to indicate that if situations changed, that he was force out of that comfortable place, he won't be helping anymore because again, the conditions are no longer right.

Being motivated (or demotivated) because of a want of comfort (or wish to avoid discomfort) is also a kind of selfishness. We do something because it feels good, or because we're trying to get out of feeling not good; we're not doing it necessarily because it will really help someone.

Yes!! I totally agree

I have come across many people in my life that they claim they are very kind, they are doing a lot to help people already, but in fact, all these that i saw, it is only very little as compared with what other people has done, those very few of real kind people i met, they can sacrifice their leisure time, they even take leave just because they wanted to help someone else, as compare to this, those that i came across

1. when their specific time for helping is up, and when asking them to stay back for another 10 - 15 min, they will give thousands and hundreds  of reason why they can't stay

2. when ask them to make a donation to help someone that really need it, they will give thousands and hundreds of reason they can't donate, not even 10 dollars

and these people are the one that keeps advertising how kind they are, going around telling people what have they done...

is this kind of selfish?? sometime i just feel like walk to them and ask them: "are you really so kind as what you have said? are you really so proud of what you have done? if compare to so and so"

I'm not complaining, but just don't understand these people, what are they thinking...


just wondering!!!
if someone's motivation of being kind is to get recognition from the people around them, is this consider selfish?