Recently, I have been thinking about the importance of having confidence and faith in Dharma practice. I have met many people who say, "I cannot be a good practitioner," or "I can't be as good as you" or "I don't know very much" and somehow, allow themselves to stay there. There is a sense of false modesty but actually just reflects a big lack of confidence, or even laziness.
Sometimes, yes, it can be daunting when we think of the long, big road ahead of us that we need to trek to reach enlightenment. It seems so far away! It seems like there is a lot we need to overcome, a lot of hurdles, and sometimes we get scared.
Then, I came across an interesting teaching recently that said (and this is very common sense, very clear), that if we keep saying we cannot do it, we don't know how, we don't want to do it etc then we are just opening the karmic imprints for us to NOT do it; we allow all those negative karmas that keep us away from dharma to open and literally stop us from practicing. So eventually, yes, we literally cannot do it, won't know how to do it and will NOT DO IT.
The opposite must therefore be true. We must have the determination and some faith to say, "I will do it", "I can do it". This opens the positive karmic imprints from whatever positive virtue we have done before, TO CONTINUE DOING IT AGAIN now.
The question perhaps, then, is not whether we have faith in ourselves to practice, but whether we really WANT TO PRACTICE?
Is it really a lack of faith? Or just pure laziness and attachment?