Finding Strength In Difficult Times

I was introduced to Dorje Shugden’s practice a few years ago when our Lama gathered a few students to start doing pujas. We would meet monthly to do the pujas and from there, the group grew in strength to almost four times the size it used to be.

My ageing mum and aunt live with me. Mum had a few falls and as she was already old, these falls were very painful for her; many hair-line cracks were left to heal on their own with only pain-killers for relief. In the beginning I had to single-handedly look after her, so I took time off from a full-time job to care for her.

At the same time, my aunt, who had been on anti-depressants for years, started to get worse. She just went down the drain. Coupled with the fact that she is hard of hearing, it became very difficult to communicate with her, as she would always turn away when she did not want to listen to me.

There was a time when she over-dosed herself on medicine and had to be rushed to hospital where she stayed for about 5 weeks, almost becoming a permanent resident. The psychiatrist gave up on her, as he could not get her consent for a procedure which required her to go through electro-shock therapy to stabilise her brain waves – a procedure which would ensure a short-term recovery with slight memory loss.

I then had her discharged and she came home to the care of a housekeeper, who we had employed to also care for mum. There were many psychological wars between us, as she had to be “threatened” to get things done for her sake. There were days when she would go into “silent retreat” and keep to herself, refuse food and was generally negative towards a lot of things. The only constant thing in her life was making sure she had her daily dosage of medication.

At the same time, the situation I was facing at my workplace was not rosy either as my employer’s personal problems were brought into the office and affected all of us. In the end, the business suffered and many of my colleagues left. I ended up having to hold the fort alone while my boss travelled abroad.

Now, my mum has finally recovered from her falls; but she is bed-ridden and almost blind due to old age. My aunt recovered from her depression but recently suffered multi-focal infarction and seizures, and had to be hospitalised. Physically, these have taken a toll on her.

Both mum and my aunt are now staying with my younger brother, looked after by a housekeeper who has been with us for almost 5 years. She has said that after her contract ends, she wishes to leave and go back home. I pray hard that she changes her mind and look sincerely to our Protector for help and guidance. These have been especially trying times but my Dharma practice has helped me greatly. Had I not come under the protection of our Lama and Protector, I would not have had the strength to pull through all this.

~ Anonymous ~